Tragedy

It's hard not to think about Japan right now.  The thought of everything that they are going through is mind boggling.  We have been watching a lot of the coverage but it gets to be too much.  And we turn it off.  Because you can only take so much.

And then you turn it back on because how can you not watch as the world watches.  It's hard to even imagine what it would even look like to see this.  The devastation is huge.

But when it's just pictures of rubble it's easier to detach.  And then you start to see the faces of the tragedy and the compassion just grows.  This mother is clinging to her daughter and I can definitely relate to that.

In the past when there have been massive tragedies, like Haiti, it was just a disaster and a clean up (and I say "just" in the most sensitive way possible because we all know that wasn't just a small tragedy either).  But this time the threats are continuous.

So we pray for these people who we don't know in a country on the other side of the world.  And we weep with them.  And we pray for mercy.  Because they can't turn this tragedy off.


*pictures courtesy of www.USATODAY.com

More Important than a Cute Picture

This past weekend we were able to visit my father in law's beach condo with friends of ours from college, Drew and Susan. They have a little boy, Jack, who is exactly 2 weeks younger than Ainsley. Ainsley has been around other children before but no one so close in age. It was amazing to watch the two interact. I think we all got our share of ohhs and ahhs.

The other part of the weekend that really struck me was to see Drew and Susan interact with Jack. A couple years ago, they lost a baby girl at 30 weeks pregnant. I think that loss really helped them to refocus on the every day. They really revel in each second that they spend with their son. It was a wonderful encouragement to me to see the hope and life that can come after such tragedy.

I think we often wonder how we would handle something like that. I think Susan said it best when she said that she sits in the fact that Reagan is in heaven with Jesus forever. We don't know the choices our children will make. We can only pray that they make wise ones and that they come to a saving faith in Christ. It was a great perspective shift for me to hear her be thankful for the gift of knowing that she will spend eternity with her child.

My prayer today is that I remember this day and this smile but more importantly that I continue to pray for her and the decisions she has in front of her.

Perspective

As I have been going through the past couple of weeks as a Krumroy, I have been constantly reminded to change my perspective. As I have said in previous posts, my brother in law, Taylor, has a rare form of testicular cancer and has had to have 2 surgeries in the past 6 weeks.

As I sit and watch, I find myself very sad very often about my own selfishness and sin. As my life goes on with work and the care of Ainsley, I catch myself feeling self pity over a headache or the extra weight I am carrying around.

And then I start to think about Taylor. It's so hard to complain about anything when this formerly healthy 26 year old is in the hospital struggling through each day with his loved ones camped out beside his bed. He is a shell of his former self. Despite every effort to stay positive, he is continually hit from every direction with a new challenge and yet through each obstacle he remains the same Taylor that we love. He is caring, emotional, loving, sweet, and funny. I am not saying he does not have struggles, because he does. Who wouldn't? What I am saying is that he is a fighter. He is fighting through each step.

Please join us in this fight for his life. Become a pray warrior with us and pray for healing. Pray that the doctor's would figure out what is wrong with his digestive system so that he can begin to eat again. Pray for his spirits to continually be lifted up. Pray for his strength to come back. Pray for the strength of those around him, specifically his fiance Jenny, his mother Lonnie, his father Bob, his brother (my husband) Ryan, and his sister Jordyne.

If you want to send any of them an encouraging note, they would all love it. Let them know you are praying for them. Here are the email addresses:

Taylor - tkrumroy@hotmail.com
Jenny - sugurgurrl6@hotmail.com
Lonnie - adorned@triad.rr.com
Bob - bkrumroy@hotmail.com
Ryan - renewedhealth@hotmail.com
Jordyne - siono716@gmail.com

Finally Some Good News

I just got the best text message. Taylor is officially CANCER FREE! The pathology came back clean and no chemo is required.

We are so incredibly thankful for all of you who have prayed. We can only ask for prayers for healing from the surgery now. The road to recovery is long and hard but we made great strides today!

The Latest on Taylor

For those of you who don't know, Ryan's brother Taylor has been through some major junk lately. He is a run down of his latest happenings...

• Beginning of March - diagnosed with Testicular Cancer. Had surgery to remove one. The pathology came back Level 2 - Germ Cell Cancer
• While recovering from surgery, he came down with a horrible stomach virus. He lost 18 pounds in 2 weeks.
• The final pathology came back and it was recommended that he have surgery to remove the lymph nodes in his stomach. The surgery would be an incision from his sternum to his groin. We were told this was really the only option since this kind of cancer is extremely aggressive and will not respond to chemo alone.
• The weekend before the major surgery, one of his teeth cracked. Being that it was Easter weekend no dentists were open. Ryan's dad got his dentist to open the office and fix his tooth so that he would not have to deal with that during his extensive recovery from surgery.

That brings us to yesterday. The surgery to remove his lymph nodes was scheduled for 7:00am at Wake Forest Hospital in Winston. Taylor was in good spirits as he went back into surgery. They began at 8:11 and the surgery lasted 5 hours. Once in recovery, it took a good bit of time for them to get the pain under control enough to move him to a room. When we saw him at 4:30 in the afternoon, he was still hurting really bad. It made having a baby look like a walk in the park. I really just can't imagine the pain that he is going through. We are hoping that he is past the worst of it but I kind of doubt that. They were talking about getting him up and out of bed today. This sounds like an incredibly painful endeavor knowing that all of his stomach muscles have been cut through.

The initial pathology came back that the cancer had metastasized to at least one node. We have to wait until Thursday or Friday for those results. At this point, chemo might be necessary but we won't know anything until then. I really don't want to speculate on any of that until we get the final word from the doctors. At this point, we just want to focus on getting Taylor through these next few days and weeks. Jenny, his fiance, spent the night with him at the hospital last night. She has to work today so his mom and dad are going to split the day today. Ryan is going out there after work today.

I would like to ask for you to pray for everyone in our family. Obviously Taylor needs prayer for physical healing. Pray also for Jenny, his fiance as she supports him through this. Pray for Bob and Lonnie, Taylor's mom and dad. I can't even imagine seeing my child go through such an ordeal. Pray for Lonnie specifically as she balances care for Taylor and her husband who has CLL (a form of Leukemia) and has just finished his second round of chemo.

Thanks
The Krumroy family

Week in Review

And what a week it has been. I mentioned in my last post that I was buried. That was halfway through this past week before half the crap really even hit. I knew this week was going to be rough. Actually the past 3 weeks have been rough. As I explain, please forgive me for being long winded. There is a lot going on.

I am still watching Logan 5 days a week in the afternoons. I have found this a whole lot more challenging than I ever anticipated. My schedule just seems so packed. When I originally set this up with Leah and Jason, I really just thought it wouldn't be that hard and that caring for Logan would be the same as caring for Ainsley. I was wrong in that assessment. Logan is a bit more fussier than Ainsley is but that isn't' really the problem. He's a baby and can't be blamed for that. The problem is that he is a baby and I already have a baby. One cries and the other is hungry. I can't hold them both at the same time. They are trying to go to sleep and they are both crying and keeping the other one awake. One of them always gets the short end of the stick and I feel like that is usually Ainsley since Logan is younger and it's hard to let someone else's kid cry. I feel responsible to make sure he is happy all the time because he's not mine. Taking care of both of them makes me not envy my friends who have twins. I don't know how you do it. In addition to that, the schedule is just rough. I drop Ainsley off at 7:15 and go to work. I meet them back at my house at 3:00 after having rushed home from work. Logan is here from then until anywhere from 5:30 to 7:15 depending on the day. In that time, I am on constant alert and usually don't have time to eat lunch or go to the bathroom. To say that my housework is behind is an understatement. Those of you who will be at my house anytime soon, please ignore it. We don't usually eat dinner until 8:30. I go to bed exhausted every night. And to top it all, my child still won't sleep through the night! So on Tuesday night when Jason picked Logan up, I told them that I need to cut my hours back to 3 days a week instead of 5. I am still concerned that I have hurt their feelings and that I have disappointed them but I had to do it in order to be a better mother, wife, and child care provider. So here is a picture of my sweet Logan playing in the exersaucer.

In addition to that, I have been going crazy at work. Remember this post. Well, the first part of that transition went great. Everyone loves the new system. The second part was to run commissions out of the new system. It's money we are paying out so it's important that they be right. I had the majority of that job done before this week and was ready to go, so I thought. Throughout this week my boss has thought of other scenarios that we didn't think of and I ended up re-writing my job 4 times. There were multiple times over the week that I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I actually had to have Ryan come home on Thursday afternoon to take care of the babies so that I could stay at work. After all of that stress, we ran on Thursday and my boss checked each one. With a few exceptions, everything worked perfectly and I got the "Great Job" from my boss. Phew. Now to clean up all the other stuff at work that has been put on hold while I worked on this.

Part 3 of this maddening week is my step father in law, Blu. He has CLL which is a form of Leukemia. Over the past few weeks he and my mother in law, Lonnie have been trying to decide the best treatment options for him as his disease has progressed to the next level. After much prayer and discussions, they decided to go to a cancer treatment center in Philadelphia. They have been up there this whole week while Blu has gotten his first rounds of chemo. To top that off, he turned 65 on Wednesday. Happy Birthday to Blu! Here is a picture of him with Ainsley over Christmas.

Part 4 and the worst part of my week started on Wednesday evening. We were getting Ainsley ready for bed when the phone rang. It was Ryan's 26 year old brother, Taylor, calling to tell us that he had been to the doctor and had been diagnosed with Testicular Cancer. They were doing surgery on Friday to remove the bad one. Are you kidding me? He's 26. He had a scan on Thursday that came up clear so we think that it hasn't spread yet but won't be able to fully confirm that until the blood work comes back next week. He had the surgery on Friday. Ryan, his dad (Bob), and his fiance (Jenny) were at the hospital. His mom was still in Philly with Blu and couldn't be there. The surgery went well but he is in a lot of pain now. The initial pathology didn't come back that good either. It's not the worst case scenario but it's not the best either. We have to wait for the full pathology to come back before we know what happens next. Our church and Bob's office have joined together to provide food for him for the next week. We are asking for anyone who prays to pray for Taylor and Jenny as they go through this next week. It's going to be difficult. Here's a face with a name on that too. This is another picture from Christmas.

So after all of that, I am relieved that the week is over. This little girl has been a wonderful distraction during it all. She's too cute not to be. Here's hoping next week will be better.

The Sweet Voice

I hadn't talked to my mom since Saturday morning. I got busy on Sunday and then on Monday she had her episode. I didn't talk with her when we found out she was headed to the hospital. I didn't get to talk to her throughout the day today. I was starting to feel very frantic.

I know I was probably overreacting but I have a tendency to think the worst. I was beginning to feel like I would never hear the sweet voice of my mother. I spoke with my dad twice today, fairly early. Even though my dad told me that she was going to be OK and that they were still running tests, I needed to hear in her voice that she was doing OK.

I think about people who I have known and lost and I realize that their voices is what I miss the most. You can always look at pictures, but so much of who we are is communicated with our voice. Our emotions, our feelings, and our souls all come through.

At 2:30 today, I finally got to talk with my mom. The familiar "Hallow" greeted me at the other end of the line. I felt the instant connection that I was craving. My mom was OK. There are still issues, but she sounded good. I know someday I won't be able to hear that voice again. That day will break my heart. For now, it looks like that day won't be today. I can only thank Jesus for that.

As for those of you who want the real health update, here it is...She is staying another night in the hospital. They did an MRI of her brain and they found a small spot where an artery had expanded and calcified. This seems to be an old issue and not the current problem. They are going to do an ultrasound of her kidneys tomorrow to check for artery blockages. They have given her new medication and are observing her for now. She will be in the hospital again tonight. If all goes well, she will be released tomorrow. They will wait for her BP to stabilize and then she will need to take a stress test. To sum it up, they really don't know the cause but they are trying to stabilize with medication. Continued prayer is appreciated.

A Hard Reminder

On Tuesday I spent some time talking with one of my oldest friends on the phone. She and I grew up in Connecticut and have always been very close. I have always felt very welcomed by her family and I hope she can say the same about mine. I consider her one of my best friends. We have one of those friendships that you don't need to talk all the time to still be great friends. We often go months at a time without speaking but everytime we do, its like we just talked yesterday. Outside my family, she knows me the best. Our relationship is nice and easy.

She called to wish me happy birthday and to find out the goings on of the Krumroys. I updated her on the joys and hardships of motherhood. Overall, the Krumroy update was easy and good.

Her update was a little bit more mixed. She told me of the trip to Hawaii that she took with her now serious boyfriend. It was a great to hear the joys of this relationship in her life. Then she got to the hard part. Her parents, who started dating when they were in high school, are getting a divorce. It's hard to believe it. Her parents are like a second set of parents to me. I spent many weekends at their house when I was young and even a few since we have been married. I know that people don't air their hardships for everyone to see, but this took me by complete surprise. This couple had been together for so long and seemed so stable and together. My friend seems to be handling the situation with the grace that echos through the path of her life.

As I got off the phone and Ryan asked me what was wrong, it really hit me that marriage is work and that no one is without a vulnerable spot here and there. I don't know all the details of this break up so I can't judge it at all and that's not my point. My point is that it was a reminder to me that we need to continuosly work on our relationships. We can't just assume that since we have been together for a long time that we will always be together. We must continuosly rely on the One that has put us together. Without His strength, we can not even begin to be a success at marriage.

Now I will pray for my friend and her family. I will pray for our marriage. I will pray for the marriage of my parents. I will pray for the marriages of my friends. I will pray for all the marriages that I am surrounded by. Chances are we all need those prayers.

Our Other Child

Since November of last year, Ryan and I have been working with a Iraqi refugee named Omar. I have to admit, it's about 90% Ryan and 10% me. He has a very tragic story that will absolutely break your heart. We have adopted him as our "son". We have recruited Ryan's family to step along side him with us. This really has been a "village" effort. Omar has been quite a challenge.

He came here in the early fall of last year and we got hooked up with him through the ESL classes at our church. Ryan has been a regular participant in that ministry. The relationship started because Omar just needed a friend. It has grown into so much more. We call him our other child.

He is a 28 year old man who has the maturity of a 16 year old boy. This is in part due to his tragic story. He left home as a refugee when he was 17 years old and has been on his own ever since. Many of the issues that we have dealt with have been maturity issues. He doesn't understand a budget, he doesn't want to go to work, he doesn't understand bills, etc. Our biggest struggle has been his abuse of alcohol. I know that he abuses alcohol as a way to shelter his feelings of loneliness, fear, and tragedy, not that this is an excuse. We are hopeful that he will seek treatment for this disease in the near future.

This past Saturday, Omar was at a coffee shop and got beat up really badly. It was a 4 on 1 conflict, Omar being the 1. His aggressors beat him up with a pool stick. They were aiming for his head but Omar blocked it with his arm. The result was a very badly broken arm. He is recovering from surgery right now.

I write all this for one reason. I need those of you who are believers in the Great Physician to pray for Omar. He needs not only physical healing but emotional and spiritual as well. Pray for us to give Godly counsel. Pray that we would have the words to say when there are no words. Pray that Christ's love will be shown to him in more ways than we can ever imagine.

Tomorrow is a Big Day

My family has a history of urinary reflux. My 2 sisters and I all had it as kids. Out of 5 of my nieces and nephews that have been tested so far, 4 of them have it. As of right now, most of them have grown out of it. My sisters both had surgery for it when they were little. I finally outgrew mine when I was in 3rd grade.

Tomorrow, Ryan and I are taking Ainsley to be tested. I am quite nervous for this. First and foremost, I don't want her to have this genetic disorder. Secondly, I don't want to put my child through this horrible test. I have such feelings of guilt that I could have passed this disorder on to her. I know that there is nothing you can do to determine what genes are passed and what aren't but its still rough on the mommy in me. Its also going to be tough for me as it will bring back many memories I have of being tested yearly until the 3rd grade.

So pray for us tomorrow. Pray that she doesn't have it. Pray for Ainsley to do well in the physical part of the test. Pray for my emotions. Pray for us to make wise decisions if she does have it.

Thanks and I will keep you posted.