Hands

There is something about hands.  They are so distinct.  I feel like if you know someone, you know their hands.  You know the length of their fingers.  You know how they keep their nails.  You can picture them in your head. 

The other day we were at lunch with Ryan's family.  Ainsley was fascinated with Great Grandma's hands.  It was like she was memorizing them.  Maybe Ainsley knows deep down that Great Grandma, who is 91, won't be with us forever.  Maybe she was taking that mental snapshot. 

 
Or maybe she was just being a 2 year old interested in why Great Grandma's hands have so many wrinkles and bumps. 

Either way, the snap shot is not only here now, but it's in my head.  It will stay there forever because I love both of these people that belong to these hands.

You Taught Me

You taught me to eat

You taught me to walk

You taught me my ABCs

You taught me to swim

You taught me to shuffle cards

You taught me to snap

You taught me to be a good friend

You taught me how to cross stitch

You taught me to eat spaghetti with a spoon

You taught me to bake

You taught me to study

You taught me how to grieve

You taught me how to work hard

You taught me how to let go

You taught me to not take myself too seriously

You taught me how to sew

You taught me how to manage my money

You taught me to make my own decisions

You taught me confidence

You taught me empathy

You taught me how to be a loving wife

You taught me patience

You taught me how to put family first

You taught me kindness

You taught me how to be a good mother

You taught me love

But most importantly, you taught me about Jesus.

Happy Mother's Day to the best Teacher in the world

Let it Grow

I love the garden. I love watching it grow. I love harvesting. I love cooking with fresh ingredients. I love eating those wonderful fruits of our labor.

Yesterday I put the remaining parts of the garden in while Ainsley was napping. It was back breaking work but worth every but of sore muscles and sun burn. I did not have enough energy to weed between the rows. Who does that anyway?

There was one last plant that needed to be put in today. Ainsley's plant. It's a cherry tomato plant that Ryan got from a coworker. Ainsley has watched it grow inside and today it was time to put it in the ground. After church Ryan and Ainsley got in old clothes and ventured to the garden to plant the last plant.




It was so fun to watch her and Ryan out there working and fertilizing. Such a sweet memory.

I can't wait to start the harvest!

Find Those Eggs

I have been struggling with what to put up on my blog.  I have this general feeling that my blog should always be profound and deep.  But sometimes my life isn't deep at all.  Actually most of the time my life is commentated by a 2 year old.  And life with a 2 year old can only be so profound. 

So this post is exclusively about a 2 year old and her Easter Eggs.  It made her smile so it made me smile.

We went to our church's Easter Egg hunt this past Saturday.  They were calling for tornadoes so it was inside.

Patiently Waiting for it to Start

No Eggs Yet

Listening Carefully to What Pastor James is Saying

And He Lost Her

Look Carefully



"There Egg" - Each time she found an egg

She even found her good friend Karene

Checking out the Loot

Look Mommy - Candy!

And A Book About Jesus - Which she quickly declared that she loved.

Heading Home One Happy Girl

And we beat the storms home.  Quite the Success!

Stuck

Have you ever felt like your life is stuck?  Emotionally? Spiritually? Physically?

I have been stuck for months now.  I had the miscarriage in late November.  It's now the beginning of April.  And I feel like I haven't moved since then. 

I have been meeting with a woman from my church a couple times a month.  We started meeting as I was in the throws of trying to get pregnant.  Since I'm an open book, I told her about it from the beginning.  Little did she know when she agreed to disciple me that she was walking into a mine field.  And little did I know that I was inviting her to walk a very difficult road with me.

Fast forward to now.  I have dealt with the sadness of the miscarriage.  I have been stuck in the angry part of it for a while.  Part of my anger has to deal with the fact that my body hasn't picked up physically since the miscarriage.  It's in a perpetual state of limbo with no chance of moving forward.

But more of my anger has to do with this situation not being fair.  I've been mad at God.  And so I have turned my back and given Him the silent treatment.  I haven't wanted to talk to Him about it because I was just so mad. How 2 year old tantrum of me.

And the other week when I was meeting with my friend she asked me if I was willing to let God change my heart.  And my answer was that I wasn't willing to stay where I was.  It wasn't the full blown YES that I think she or God wanted to hear but it has opened dialog.

And so I have been praying.  And I am feeling less angry than I have in a long time even though my body is still not cooperating.  But I'm taking steps to un-stick that too.

I'm moving forward slowly.  It feels slow but it feels good. And that feels like enough right now.

I'm a Better Cook Than This

I've been meaning to write about this story for a week now.  Things have gotten in the way:  a computer crash, a new computer, new photo editing software, puke.  But now I'm home from work with a little girl who is still sick but sleeping.

A coworker of Ryan's and a friend of ours, recently had a baby.  Baby Tyler is adorable and such a blessing after a very painful road.  The least I could do was to bring her a meal.  I set out to make my standard "New Mom Meal" - Homemade Mac N Cheese, Green Beans with Nuts, and some sort of a dessert.  It was a busy day so my dessert was cookies baked from frozen dough.  I know I know.  It's not like me but I was in a bind and that's why I usually have some on hand.

I was multi-tasking for sure.  I had the cookies in the oven, the pasta boiling, nuts in the toaster oven, and the green beans steaming.  I kind of felt like Rachel Ray.  This was my 30 minute meal (minus baking time for the mac n cheese.)

I got distracted and went to the other room for a minute or maybe 10.  I have a toddler - these things happen. When I came back something smelled funny.  It was then that it occurred to me that I never put water under the green beans and I was cooking them dry.  Oops.  I've done that a few times before and just added water after the fact and saved the green beans. 

When I picked up the pot to bring it to the sink, I noticed that my stainless steel pot was literally melting.  I'm talking liquid metal.  I put it down on one of the other burners and quickly called Ryan.  The pot had a glass lid on it which was now starting to pop and sounded like it was going to explode.  By now my pasta needed to be drained and my cookies were ready to come out of the oven.  I was scared to even go back in the kitchen. 

I ran in quickly and drained my pasta, took my cookies out of the oven, and ran back to the safety of my family room.  Boo!

Fast forward 45 minutes.  My pot is cool and ruined. 

I have 5 or 6 piles of hardened molten metal. 

My green beans are in the trash.  And so is my pot.

 
So what do I do?  I finished my mac n cheese and started my green beans over again.  With water this time.  And they turned out perfect this time. 

I thought for sure Ryan was going to sign me up for "Worst Cooks in America".  But instead I was singing "Hip Hip Horray!  Tracey saved the Day!(I think I've been watching too much Super Why)   And the look of contentment on Ashley's face holding her sweet baby was worth my melted pot.

Made to be Obsolete

It's hard to move on from Tragedy. But we have to. And from tragedy I have moved to complete irritation.

As my husband would tell you, my job is to "Do Computers". Actually in reality I am a software developer. What I know about computer hardware is by necessity only. I hate working on computer hardware issues. But it's part of my job. So I do it begrudgingly.

At home, we run a small health business. If you have never checked us out you should at www.RenewedHealth.com. And while you are at it, follow us on Facebook.

Alright...back on track and past the cheap ploys. We bought a computer a little over a year ago for our home use. All we do on it is surf, email, and the accounting for the business. It's really minimal usage because the last thing I want to do when I get home is get on the computer. (My iPhone is a different story. Don't get Ryan started on how much he wants to smash it. Addicted much?)

The computer has been working great. It should. It's just barely out of warranty. And then the power supply blew on it last night. And of course it's a "special" power supply that only the manufacturer can supply for way too much money.

It just irks me to no end that this manufacturer would purposely make parts that no one else does. It's like they are making parts and computers that are made to be obsolete.

And this got me thinking to what we have on this earth that doesn't wear out and become obsolete. Almost everything does. So here are my top 5 things that I plan on having for my lifetime:

1. My China - It's my Mom's china from when she got married. It's beautiful and special because it was hers.


2. My photo albums. - It's such a treasure to have all your memories documented, especially when my little girl is growing up sooo fast.

3. My stuffed lion that my grandmother gave me the Christmas before she died. I was 4. I named it Some because I only knew my grandma some. Not only is it a great childhood memory but it's a great reminder of love of family.

4. My Wedding Ring. - It signifies the most important earthly relationship I have.


5. My Bible. It's definitely there for the long haul. Since it is living and all.

Am I missing anything?