It Could Be So Different

Reflection is a good thing.  Looking back on where you have been and what the Lord has done is always a good exercise. 

I'm sitting in my quiet house tonight with 2 sleeping kids with my hand on my stomach feeling the baby in my womb move around.  Ryan is out of town on a business trip.  He never travels so this is a strange occurrence for me.  And as I sit here by myself, I can't help but think of what it would be like if he weren't here.

Ryan and I met when we were very young.  I was a freshman in college and he was a junior.  Neither of us really knew who we were.  We were starry eyed teenagers.  Well I was.  He was an old man at the age of 20!  In all practicality, he was the only boyfriend I ever had (those boyfriends that lasted 2 months in high school just don't count).

We got engaged when I had just turned 21.  On February 5th 15 years ago, we got married at the ages of 22 and 24. 

As I look forward to our 15th anniversary next week, I'm just struck by the Lord's goodness to us.  We both had relationships with God when we got married.  But we didn't really know God.  We were not just young in age, but young in our faith.  We both had grown up in the church, but we didn't really have a firm grasp on the character of God and our own character and our own imperfections.

Over the past 15 years we have dealt with our share of good times and bad.  We have moved over 600 miles away and back again.  We have endured bad jobs.  We have celebrated great jobs.  We have adopted dogs and watched as those dogs got old and died.  We have been to weddings.  We have been to funerals.  We have had children.  We have lost children. 

And now here we are.  Closer than ever.  And I can't help but ask why.  My only answer has to be grace and grace that can only come from a Heavenly Father who loves us so very much.  As we have been through all those things, the best part is actually watching each other grow in Christ and knowing that we are walking this path together.  It's because of His graciousness that we are here.  Oh how different it could be. 

And as we cling to Him in all things, I can't help but be reminded of the scripture that our wedding was based around.  We built our rings around it.  We have built our lives around it.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

⁹ Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. ¹⁰ For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! ¹¹ Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? ¹² And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

 

 

The Support

I was talking with my sister the other day and I told her how Monday is now my favorite day.  I purposely don't schedule anything on Monday and it's a time to just catch up on from busy weekends and just breath.

But for my husband, it's still filled with the same anxiety that used to plague me.  He heads off to work every Monday and does what he does so well.  He provides for this family so that I can enjoy my Mondays and live in this season of life.

It also has me thinking about how little I talk about him on here.  I usually post on his birthday or our anniversary.  But today is neither of those.  It's just a random Monday in September and I am feeling overwhelmed by the love and support he provides me. 

From the point that I got pregnant with Ainsley he has been 100% supportive of my decisions as a mom.  Through all the normal things like pregnancy, birthing, breastfeeding he had my back.  I remember saying that I never felt more in love with him than I did after he led me through Ainsley's epically long labor.

But he also supported every decision that I made in respect to my career.  When I decided I wanted to go back to work after Ainsley was born, he was all for it.  He and I researched childcare options and we found one that we were happy with.  He supported my desire for a career when we live in a culture of stay at home moms.  I was a rarity among our peers but yet he supported me.  He encouraged me through the hard times and rejoiced in my success with me.

After David was born and God started to call me in a different direction, I kept asking for his opinion.  And he told me that no matter what I decided he would support me.  I knew this was true but I was looking for him to tell me what to do.  But he knew that if he told me what to do, I would take it as his decision and he really wanted this decision to be mine.  And so he would let me bounce thoughts off of him and he would listen as I processed. 

When I finally came to the conclusion that I should leave my career, he didn't skip a beat.  He said ok, let's do this thing.  And just like that, he took on all the financial responsibility of the household and didn't say another word about it.  He doesn't complain about that responsibility.  He just does it.  And his job is hard too.   

I couldn't be in the position I am today without a very supportive husband.  I couldn't be the one who drives my daughter to preschool and hears all about her day when I pick her up.  I couldn't be the one who puts David down for naps and gets the last few snuggles before he drifts off to sleep.  I couldn't be the one who gets to go to a fantastic Bible study every Wednesday. 

Without the support of my husband, I couldn't say that I am happier now than I have ever been. 

And that is a gift worth talking about on a random Monday.

It Could Be So Much Worse

It seems like something always happens when you are on vacation.  A couple years ago Ainsley fell off the bed at my sister's house and couldn't walk for over a week afterwards.  Last year, Ryan was training for a 5K and ended up really hurting his knee and it wasn't right for over 2 months.

This year our story is way more crazy than any of that.  We are at my parents' house in the Adirondacks.  The first part of the week my sister and her kids were here.  Ainsley has been talking about jumping off the boat with her cousins for months. 

Sunday afternoon shaped up to be a great day and so we took my dad's pontoon boat out.  We found a small beach that wasn't inhabited on the other side of the lake.  The kids spent time jumping off the boat and swimming back and forth between the boat and the island.  About 10 minutes in, Ryan decided he would join Ainsley and jump off and swim with her. 

As soon as he got in the water and swimming with her, she whispered to him, "Daddy I need to go poop."  Being the fantastic dad he is, he set her up on the small beach and taught her how to poop outside.  He grabbed 3 leaves from a nearby shrub and wiped her down.  He then used leaves from the same bush to clean it off the beach.  He then cleaned her off a little better in the water with some sand.  We all cheered him on and didn't think another thing about it.

Tuesday morning Ryan woke up and his eye was kind of swollen.  I joked with him that he looked like Rocky.  I joked with him that I was Adrianne.  It got better over the day and we assumed it was a spider bite. 

About 2:00 in the morning on Wednesday, he woke me up.  He said both of his eyes were swelling shut and he needed some benadryl.  I woke my mom up and the man who takes no medicine took a double dose of benadryl. 

This morning he woke up and looked 1000 times worse.  We made an appointment for him at the doctor.  He went in and sure enough, it wasn't a spider bite or an allergic reaction.  It was some sort of dermatitis.  We kept thinking about when he was even in the woods.  We couldn't figure it out.

Then it hit me.  The leaves!!!  I google imaged the different poisonous plants.  What he wiped Ainsley's butt was poison sumac!  We don't have that where we live. 

Here's a picture and a link of the description in case you were wondering

So now he is on prednisone and zyrtec.  Both of his eyes are swollen shut.  His neck is covered.  His arms are covered.  His stomach is covered.  He looks horrible.  For his dignity, I will keep the Rocky pictures to myself.  Here's a picture of his neck though. 

As with everything, you have to look for the silver lining.  This time it's pretty huge.  Ainsley is free from rash and spots.  We think she is either not allergic or the sand wipe off cleaned it off enough.  Either way, we are counting our blessings that Ryan has all the reaction and she has none. 

Can you imagine her poor bum???!!??!!?!

What's in a Name?

I always thought it would be so fun to name children.  In reality I have found it just the opposite.  I find it to be an impossible task and with both my kids I have had periods of doubt after they were born and named.  Don't get me wrong, I love their names but they are so permanent that the fear of making a mistake just gets to me. 

With this baby, we did not know whether it was a boy or a girl and therefore had to pick out 2 names.  The girl's name was set from day 1.  The boys name wasn't set until we actually met him.  I had a feeling his name would be what it was but we just weren't sure. 

David's name does have quite a bit of significance though and so I wanted to share it with you.  It's not a hidden fact in my life that my father and I have not always gotten along.  There was a period of time when we actually didn't like each other at all.  I actually wouldn't even stay at his house when I came home from college. 

BUT God's grace is bigger than either of our sinful hearts.  God healed both of our hearts and today my dad is one of the most important people in my life.  He is a friend, an advisor, and a father.  I couldn't ask for anything more. 

And so when we thought about a first name, my dad's name came to mind quickly:  David.  It doesn't hurt that the name also has such strong biblical significance - "a man after God's own heart".

When it came to a middle name, the choice was obvious.  How could we not name our son after his father?  Ryan is such an amazing dad that it seems fitting to name his son after him.  He's my rock and the leader of this family.  And his name's meaning is pretty gtood too - "Little Prince".

So my prayer for you little David Ryan is that you live up to your name.  Those are some pretty big shoes to grow into but we have faith in the man you will become.  God has big plans for you and we trust in Him to fulfill them.  And I am just so happy that the 3 most important men in my life are forever linked by their names. 

Let it Grow

I love the garden. I love watching it grow. I love harvesting. I love cooking with fresh ingredients. I love eating those wonderful fruits of our labor.

Yesterday I put the remaining parts of the garden in while Ainsley was napping. It was back breaking work but worth every but of sore muscles and sun burn. I did not have enough energy to weed between the rows. Who does that anyway?

There was one last plant that needed to be put in today. Ainsley's plant. It's a cherry tomato plant that Ryan got from a coworker. Ainsley has watched it grow inside and today it was time to put it in the ground. After church Ryan and Ainsley got in old clothes and ventured to the garden to plant the last plant.




It was so fun to watch her and Ryan out there working and fertilizing. Such a sweet memory.

I can't wait to start the harvest!

Meet Me in Mexico

I am so proud of my husband.  He qualified for his company trip again this year.  If you remember, last year we went on a cruise.  It was so fun and I so enjoyed getting to spend time with his fabulous coworkers.  I have to say that Jody, Caroline, Mindy and I had a blast.  Oh the husbands did too but who is kidding who.  Girls know how to have fun and I loved hanging out with these women. 

This year we are going to Mexico.  I can't wait.  Last year we ended up on spring break (aka..SB O 10)  This year will be a much quieter trip on the beach.  And we have more people going this year too which should make it more fun.

And this year it's at an all inclusive spa and resort.  I'm not usually a spa kind of girl but after the year I've had, I'm ready for some pampering.

So I am prepping for my trip.  Last year I went on a diet.  And I was successful.  I had a plan and I lost the weight. 

And this year I just am not in the mood to lose weight.  I have some to lose.  But in light of the past few months, I'm going to offer myself some grace and skip the diet this year. 

So I'm prepping in a different way.  I told you that the trip is all inclusive.  So I'm in training of a different sort.  Having recently been pregnant, my wine tolerance is very low. 

Cheers!

Imperfectly Perfect

Today is my husband's 35th birthday.  So often we read in the blog world how perfect a husband is.  We all know that's not true.  So today I want to celebrate my Imperfectly Perfect husband.  And here's why...


You push my buttons BUT you push me to be a better person


You can act like a child BUT you father with love and strength


You work late BUT  you have the strongest work ethic of anyone I know


You won't play my "what if" games BUT you lead our family with logic and integrity


You compulsively lock the doors BUT you protect our family


You sing the wrong lyrics to songs BUT you entertain me


You follow a crazy diet BUT  you love my cooking


You talk to everyone on the phone but me BUT you pursue your friends and family with great consistency


You don't flush the toilet BUT you value God's creation


You make comments for shock value BUT you are grounded in Truth


You don't cry BUT  you comfort me when I do


You pick on me BUT  you picked me

I love you Imperfectly Perfect Husband.  Happy 35th Birthday!

Even More Today

10 Years ago today I married the most wonderful man in the world. We were young and innocent. We had great dreams. We were a tad naive in some of those dreams. I mean who retires at 30 and I am definitely not cut out to own a farm.

But we are so much more than we ever imagined at 22 and 24.  We have been through our share of things from unemployment to moving to a different state twice.  We have weathered times of job difficulties.  And we have experienced some wonderful things like buying 2 houses and having the cutest baby in the world. 

So today we are celebrating a life together, both in the past and the future.  We can look back with great nostalgia and can look forward with great expectations.  I know the road ahead will bring with it more joys and more heartbreak.  But we will do it together.  And that's just awesome.  I couldn't ask for more.

13 Years Later

Today is the 13th anniversary of the day that Ryan and I started dating. I was 18, he was 20. We were babies.

We got married a little over 3 years later. We have been blessed beyond belief to have made such a good decision at a young age. I think about the future and if Ainsley tells me she wants to get married at age 22. I might laugh because it sounds ridiculous.

But then again, I know that God has a plan. God's plan included 2 very young people who were both following Him to meet and fall in love when they were just babies. God has pursued us as we have pursued Him. We have clung to each other through rough times. We have pushed each other away during rough times. But the foundation always remains the same. We are committed to each other. We promised each other and we promised God. Sometimes that's just enough. Sometimes that's way more than enough. But it's always enough. And for that, I'm eternally thankful.

Here are 2 pictures from that first year we started dating. I must justify our outfits in the first picture. We were at a Lumberjack ball. As for the second picture, Ryan can still be caught wearing that t-shirt along with all the other "jetski" t-shirts of that era. Melt my heart!

No Better Way

There is no better way to break radio silence than with a video of the 2 loves of my life

With a Cluck Cluck Here

Old Mr. Krumroy had a farm E-I-E-I-O. Ok, he's not old but we definitely have a farm now. I knew Ryan loved animals when I married him, I just didn't know we would have an Urban farm some day.

If you follow me on Facebook, you have seen me refer to the chickens. I now feel the need to elaborate. I was going to earlier but we got them the day of Taylor's surgery and I felt it was quite inappropriate to do so then. (By the way, pray for him as he is back in the hospital with major digestive tract issues.)

Ryan started talking about getting chickens months ago. At first it was a joke and then he started really looking into it. He was quickly sold on the idea because he is Dr. Doolittle. I took a bit of convincing. He had a friend from high school even trying to convince me via Facebook. Finally I told him that we could get them but I would be uninvolved.

He had a custom coup made for the chickens. It's actually pretty fancy and not really an eye-sore at all. Here's a picture. Notice the cute ladder that they use to get to the top where they have their beds and lay their eggs (which they haven't figured out yet). It's ok because they are only about 9 weeks old and they won't start laying eggs until 24 weeks. And in case you are wondering, because everyone does, you don't need a rooster to get eggs. It works just like us, I don't need a man to ovulate.

The big day arrived and our friend Travis picked them up for us. They were delivered in a box on our front porch. I have to say, I wasn't super excited but then I saw them. They are adorable. Here's a picture of 2 in the coup next to their watering can.

Here are all three together. They all have good southern double names. I thought it would be fun. We have Bonnie Ray (the gold one), Peggy Sue, and Sally Jo. Peggy Sue and Sally Jo were referred to as the twins when the first arrived. Can you see why?

So we have had our chickens for over a week, and I am attached. It was a few days ago that we started to notice a big bump on Sally Jo's head. Over the past few days, it has gotten worse. Ryan called the farmer that we got her from and he asked us to bring her over to take a look. Apparently, she had some sort of a peck mark or a scratch that got infected and caused an abscess. He wanted to take her back to care for her and help her get better. In turn, he is going to give us a new chicken. I can't believe how sad I am to have to say goodbye to Sally Jo. I know she will be happy on the farm, but we will miss her. Her chicken sisters will miss her too. Here is our close up to remember her by. On the up side, a new chicken, Sadie May, will be joining us on Thursday.

Are we nuts?

I Learned Something About Myself

I have never been that big into holidays. I always thought that I didn't care. Apparently, I do.

As you know, Saturday was Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day falls exactly 9 days after our anniversary so we never make a big deal out of it. Usually it involves the exchange of cards and maybe some chocolates for me.

This year, we were spending the evening with our great friends. Prior to them coming over, I gave Ryan his card. It was then that I realized that he didn't have anything for me. I wasn't very shocked. Ryan doesn't remember things like this until the last minute and I could account for all of his time during the day.

What surprised me is how hurt I was. I wasn't looking for a gift. Honestly, that's not my thing. My thing is words of affirmation. I love to be affirmed and to be encouraged. It melts my heart so quickly. What I wanted was a card with a few nice sentences about Ryan's love for me.

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. To say that I let it go would be a lie. I let Ryan have it. I probably shouldn't have and my motives were purely selfish, but I did it anyway. Needless to say, I made him feel really bad.

Today while I was at church (Ainsley is still coughing), Ryan wrote on my facebook wall. He gave me a list of things he likes about me. It was perfect and exactly what I needed to melt my heart and diffuse the anger that I had built against him.

So Ryan, thank you. Even though it was late, it was exactly what I wanted. I guess you do know me. And yes, I love you too!

Things that Go Bump in the Night

MaryBeth, her husband Rob, and I were talking today about the weird things that people do in the middle of the night. They had some funny stories but I haven't gotten their permission so I won't share them.

If you have ever slept in the same room as my husband, you have a funny story about him in the night. He is a very active sleeper. He regularly talks and moves around. When he used to work for Enterprise Rent-A-Car, he used to rent me cars in his sleep. It's about once a month that I have to turn the lights on in the bedroom at some awful hour of the night to prove to him that there are no spiders in the bed. The funniest part about that is that he's not afraid of spiders during the day. Ryan's dad even has told me that his camp counselors used to complain about his excessive talking.

During our first couple months of marriage, this was something that I had to get accustomed to. If you know me, I like things very quiet and very dark when I sleep. My sisters often refer to my sleep patterns as cave like. I was always trying to remember what it was that he said to me in the middle of the night but usually forgot.

There was one night that I will never forget. It was somewhere in the middle of the night when it began. I started to feel my head being lifted off the pillow. I opened my eyes just in time to see Ryan above me. He was getting ready to head butt me. No joke. He picked my head off my pillow and head butted me, a full on head butt. He then proceeded to roll over and fall back asleep. Since I was still mostly asleep myself, I just rolled over and went back to sleep, although I was a tad angry. In the morning, he nicely pronounced to me that his head hurt. No kidding. Mine did too. This is exactly what a girl dreams of when they start sharing a bed with their husband.

What is the weirdest thing you have experienced in the middle of the night?

I Love My Husband

There are many reasons that I love my husband. Today, I need to think about all of them and let him know them. It's his 33rd Birthday. Here are just a few:

1. His passions in life. He does nothing halfway. He is someone who has strong convictions and rarely strays from them.
2. His love of Jesus.
3. His love for his whole family. That includes not only Ainsley and I but his entire family and my entire family.
4. His pursuit of people. He is constantly connecting with people he cares about. He may not like to talk to me on the phone but he loves to talk to his friends and his family.
5. His hair and beautiful smile.
6. His twisted sense of humor that sometimes only I get
7. His intelligence
8. His devotion to our marriage
9. His ability to beat me at cards everytime even though he never remembers the rules
10. The fact that he finally put the lawn mowing clothes in the wash! (I won)

So, Happy Birthday Ryan. Here's to many more Birthdays to celebrate together. I'm glad you were born. I love you with all my heart.

So Much for Public Humiliation

Remember this. Apparently public humiliation does nothing. The stinky, dirty, nasty clothes remain on my front porch.


Ryan came home that night and told me he thought my post was funny. Do you think that made him move them? Nope. His comment..."My parents always told me to stand up to peer pressure." What?!?!?!?! Are you kidding me?

My response comes in the form of a quote from one of the great heroes in my life. "Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen." - Martin Luther

Who do you think will win?

Lawn Mowing Clothes

Let me start by saying that I hate to mow the grass. Ryan does it regularly despite the fact that he hates it too. I appreciate him for this.


Unfortunately, everytime he mows the grass, he takes his shirt and socks off on the front porch. He leaves them along with his sneakers there. I don't know if he thinks that some fairy is coming to get them and put them in the laundry. I have mentioned these clothes to him more than once. They look tacky on the front porch. People come in that way and as they wait for us to come to the door, there are these dirty stinky clothes staring at him. Frankly its disgusting.


But, I am not a slave. I am a mother, but not his mother. He already has a wonderful mother of his own. So they will continue to sit there until someone else moves them. This is my protest. If you come to my house, ignore the pile. It's not mine.

It's Scary

Ryan's mom gave me a couple pictures of him as a baby. Take a look. Its kind of scary. Ryan calls her his Mini Me. Can you see it?