Find Those Eggs

I have been struggling with what to put up on my blog.  I have this general feeling that my blog should always be profound and deep.  But sometimes my life isn't deep at all.  Actually most of the time my life is commentated by a 2 year old.  And life with a 2 year old can only be so profound. 

So this post is exclusively about a 2 year old and her Easter Eggs.  It made her smile so it made me smile.

We went to our church's Easter Egg hunt this past Saturday.  They were calling for tornadoes so it was inside.

Patiently Waiting for it to Start

No Eggs Yet

Listening Carefully to What Pastor James is Saying

And He Lost Her

Look Carefully



"There Egg" - Each time she found an egg

She even found her good friend Karene

Checking out the Loot

Look Mommy - Candy!

And A Book About Jesus - Which she quickly declared that she loved.

Heading Home One Happy Girl

And we beat the storms home.  Quite the Success!

Stuck

Have you ever felt like your life is stuck?  Emotionally? Spiritually? Physically?

I have been stuck for months now.  I had the miscarriage in late November.  It's now the beginning of April.  And I feel like I haven't moved since then. 

I have been meeting with a woman from my church a couple times a month.  We started meeting as I was in the throws of trying to get pregnant.  Since I'm an open book, I told her about it from the beginning.  Little did she know when she agreed to disciple me that she was walking into a mine field.  And little did I know that I was inviting her to walk a very difficult road with me.

Fast forward to now.  I have dealt with the sadness of the miscarriage.  I have been stuck in the angry part of it for a while.  Part of my anger has to deal with the fact that my body hasn't picked up physically since the miscarriage.  It's in a perpetual state of limbo with no chance of moving forward.

But more of my anger has to do with this situation not being fair.  I've been mad at God.  And so I have turned my back and given Him the silent treatment.  I haven't wanted to talk to Him about it because I was just so mad. How 2 year old tantrum of me.

And the other week when I was meeting with my friend she asked me if I was willing to let God change my heart.  And my answer was that I wasn't willing to stay where I was.  It wasn't the full blown YES that I think she or God wanted to hear but it has opened dialog.

And so I have been praying.  And I am feeling less angry than I have in a long time even though my body is still not cooperating.  But I'm taking steps to un-stick that too.

I'm moving forward slowly.  It feels slow but it feels good. And that feels like enough right now.

I'm a Better Cook Than This

I've been meaning to write about this story for a week now.  Things have gotten in the way:  a computer crash, a new computer, new photo editing software, puke.  But now I'm home from work with a little girl who is still sick but sleeping.

A coworker of Ryan's and a friend of ours, recently had a baby.  Baby Tyler is adorable and such a blessing after a very painful road.  The least I could do was to bring her a meal.  I set out to make my standard "New Mom Meal" - Homemade Mac N Cheese, Green Beans with Nuts, and some sort of a dessert.  It was a busy day so my dessert was cookies baked from frozen dough.  I know I know.  It's not like me but I was in a bind and that's why I usually have some on hand.

I was multi-tasking for sure.  I had the cookies in the oven, the pasta boiling, nuts in the toaster oven, and the green beans steaming.  I kind of felt like Rachel Ray.  This was my 30 minute meal (minus baking time for the mac n cheese.)

I got distracted and went to the other room for a minute or maybe 10.  I have a toddler - these things happen. When I came back something smelled funny.  It was then that it occurred to me that I never put water under the green beans and I was cooking them dry.  Oops.  I've done that a few times before and just added water after the fact and saved the green beans. 

When I picked up the pot to bring it to the sink, I noticed that my stainless steel pot was literally melting.  I'm talking liquid metal.  I put it down on one of the other burners and quickly called Ryan.  The pot had a glass lid on it which was now starting to pop and sounded like it was going to explode.  By now my pasta needed to be drained and my cookies were ready to come out of the oven.  I was scared to even go back in the kitchen. 

I ran in quickly and drained my pasta, took my cookies out of the oven, and ran back to the safety of my family room.  Boo!

Fast forward 45 minutes.  My pot is cool and ruined. 

I have 5 or 6 piles of hardened molten metal. 

My green beans are in the trash.  And so is my pot.

 
So what do I do?  I finished my mac n cheese and started my green beans over again.  With water this time.  And they turned out perfect this time. 

I thought for sure Ryan was going to sign me up for "Worst Cooks in America".  But instead I was singing "Hip Hip Horray!  Tracey saved the Day!(I think I've been watching too much Super Why)   And the look of contentment on Ashley's face holding her sweet baby was worth my melted pot.

Made to be Obsolete

It's hard to move on from Tragedy. But we have to. And from tragedy I have moved to complete irritation.

As my husband would tell you, my job is to "Do Computers". Actually in reality I am a software developer. What I know about computer hardware is by necessity only. I hate working on computer hardware issues. But it's part of my job. So I do it begrudgingly.

At home, we run a small health business. If you have never checked us out you should at www.RenewedHealth.com. And while you are at it, follow us on Facebook.

Alright...back on track and past the cheap ploys. We bought a computer a little over a year ago for our home use. All we do on it is surf, email, and the accounting for the business. It's really minimal usage because the last thing I want to do when I get home is get on the computer. (My iPhone is a different story. Don't get Ryan started on how much he wants to smash it. Addicted much?)

The computer has been working great. It should. It's just barely out of warranty. And then the power supply blew on it last night. And of course it's a "special" power supply that only the manufacturer can supply for way too much money.

It just irks me to no end that this manufacturer would purposely make parts that no one else does. It's like they are making parts and computers that are made to be obsolete.

And this got me thinking to what we have on this earth that doesn't wear out and become obsolete. Almost everything does. So here are my top 5 things that I plan on having for my lifetime:

1. My China - It's my Mom's china from when she got married. It's beautiful and special because it was hers.


2. My photo albums. - It's such a treasure to have all your memories documented, especially when my little girl is growing up sooo fast.

3. My stuffed lion that my grandmother gave me the Christmas before she died. I was 4. I named it Some because I only knew my grandma some. Not only is it a great childhood memory but it's a great reminder of love of family.

4. My Wedding Ring. - It signifies the most important earthly relationship I have.


5. My Bible. It's definitely there for the long haul. Since it is living and all.

Am I missing anything?

Tragedy

It's hard not to think about Japan right now.  The thought of everything that they are going through is mind boggling.  We have been watching a lot of the coverage but it gets to be too much.  And we turn it off.  Because you can only take so much.

And then you turn it back on because how can you not watch as the world watches.  It's hard to even imagine what it would even look like to see this.  The devastation is huge.

But when it's just pictures of rubble it's easier to detach.  And then you start to see the faces of the tragedy and the compassion just grows.  This mother is clinging to her daughter and I can definitely relate to that.

In the past when there have been massive tragedies, like Haiti, it was just a disaster and a clean up (and I say "just" in the most sensitive way possible because we all know that wasn't just a small tragedy either).  But this time the threats are continuous.

So we pray for these people who we don't know in a country on the other side of the world.  And we weep with them.  And we pray for mercy.  Because they can't turn this tragedy off.


*pictures courtesy of www.USATODAY.com

While I'm Waiting

Another month has passed and I'm still waiting.

And with each passing day I feel a little more like my life is passing by before me.  That I'm wasting it thinking about what could have been, what should have been.  And that is what I'm doing.  Wasting.

Tonight on the way home from meeting with a friend I turned the radio on.  I heard the last line of a song and it was all I needed to hear tonight.  I turned the radio right off and contemplated what I was doing during this season of waiting.

God gave me the clear answer of what I should be doing.

"I will serve You while I'm waiting.  I will worship while I'm waiting" - John Waller  

In case you have never heard the song before, here's a video.

Back to Reality

It's been a while since I blogged.  I'm not hitting my 5 blogs a month this month unless something very dramatic happens in the next 6 days. 

Since my last entry Ryan and I went to Mexico with his company.  It was a great time full of relaxation, guacamole, spa treatments, pretty dresses, blue lagoons (that's a drink that left my tongue blue for days if you were wondering), and good times with friends.

It started out a little rough when I dropped Ainsley off the night before we were supposed to leave at my faithful nanny, Mary Beth's house.  The drop went well and we were all packed by 10:00 ready to leave for the airport at 5:45 the next morning. 

I got the dreaded call at 10:20pm that night that Ainsley was sick and throwing up.  She had gotten the stomach bug.  I have to say that it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do - listen to my child cry for me over the phone, knowing that I couldn't go to her.  Mary Beth earned sainthood that night as Ainsley continued to be sick every 20 - 30 minutes until 4:00 am.  It was horrible.  But we knew it was a quick moving bug and she would be fine by the time we got to Mexico.  And she was. 

And we were able to really relax.  And it was amazing.  And my hair grew exponentially.  And I ate this soup that was half cream of spinach and half cream of tomato and stayed seperate but in the same bowl.  How cool.

We got back late on Sunday night to go to a full work week ahead.  I was catching up on my laundry when my dryer broke.  It's been on it's last leg for years and needed to be replaced desperately, but definitely not the week after vacation when the laundry back up was so high.  So I did what any sane person would do, I bought more laundry baskets...and a new dryer. 

It felt like we were finally catching up when Saturday night I came down with the same stinking stomach bug that Ainsley had a week and half earlier.  Kick my butt and knock me upside the head.  That stunk.  It was the worst I have been sick since who knows when.  Yikes.  The mommy guilt for leaving Ainsley hit a little harder too.  But I'm recovering.  And I have lost all the weight I gained in Mexico. 

And tomorrow looks like just a normal day.  Thank goodness for that.

Although I wish this was still the view out of my bedroom window.