Christmas Spirit

I love Christmas.  I don't always love getting the house ready for Christmas.  It usually feels like such a chore.  But this year, I am so very into Christmas. 

For the first time ever, I turned Christmas music on before Thanksgiving.  I put up outside lights for the first time.  All of my nativities are out and my tree is up.  I am even liking the looks of my decorations more than ever before. All this before November 25th. 

I keep asking myself why am I so happy it's Christmas this year over any other year.  Is it the excitement of the 4 year old.  Is it the happy squeals of the baby every time he sees the Christmas tree?

That's all part of it.  But I realized something else.  Last year I was very pregnant.  I was exhausted.  My mother in law decorated my house for me.  I "survived" the Christmas season more than I "lived" it.

This year is kind of like a redemptive Christmas for me.  And that excitement from the 4 year old...and those baby squeals....they are the best!

Thankful

Every year at Thanksgiving my mother in law passes around a small bowl of popcorn kernels.  Everyone takes one and passes it along.  When it comes back to you, you have to say what you are thankful for as you put your kernel back in the bowl.

For the past 2 years, we have been having Thanksgiving at my father in law's house instead.  Even though everyone always has a good laugh over my mother in law's goofy tradition, I have to say that I really have missed it. 

This year I have to say that I am most thankful for the fact that God's plan is not my plan.  There are so many areas in my life this year that God has changed my direction and now that I am on the other side of that change, I am so thankful that I don't make the plan.

Let's start in January.  Pretty obvious here...David was born.  But my plan was that he would be a girl.  That wasn't God's plan.  By this gift of a little boy, my heart has expanded so much.  I no longer feel sorry for parents of little boys.  I actually get excited about it.  How's that for a 180!

The next place God's plan overruled mine was working.  I often had said that I could never be a stay at home mom.  Never say never.  I am one.  And I love it.  I honestly have thought about my job and my career only 2 or 3 times since I left it.  And it's a look back with a thankfulness of what I had and where God has brought me to now.  I don't regret my time there and I don't regret my decision to leave it.

Finally, my plan never included running a home business.  Ryan's plan included it.  But not me.  I did it because I had to.  And now I look forward to waking up and checking to see how many orders we received while we were sleeping.  And God has blessed us so much this year with a growing business in a down economy.  Without it, I wouldn't be able to stay home.  By the way, if you are interested, our website is www.RenewedHealth.com.

So as I put my virtual popcorn kernel in the tiny bowl, I am again overwhelmed like I have been so many times before.  Overwhelmed with a thankful heart.  Thank you Lord for your plan.

Merry Christmas

The presents have been bought and wrapped (one was even assembled). We have been to church and sang Silent Night (I choked up as I looked at the sweet little girl standing next to me lit by the light of a candle). I have listened to my husband read the Christmas story out of Luke. Ainsley is all snug in her bed. Ryan and I are watching It's a Wondeful Life on tv.

There is only one thing left to do.

Wish you a very Merry Christmas from our family.



Especially this sweet girl.




Merry Christmas!

Silent Night

It's been a whirl wind month.  There has been heart break.  There was a party or 2.  There was some shopping.  There was a lot of eating.  There was some wine.  The was some sickness.

And there was some sleep.  Thankfully I have resumed what I would consider almost normal sleeping patterns.  After weeks of getting 4-5 hours a night, it dropped to 2 consecutive nights of 2 hours.  At that point I gave up and called the doctor for a prescription for Ambien.

It worked like a charm.  I took it for 5 days to catch up.  I took my last one the night before our party.  I had one restless night of sleep after that and now I have resumed sleeping like I was before the miscarriage.

So now that it's 4 days until Christmas I am finally looking forward to celebrating quietly at home.  Well maybe not quietly.  We do have a 2 year old who thinks Santa and Baby Jesus are coming to her house.

I think what I am looking forward to the most is Christmas Eve service when the lights go down and the candles are lit. Silent Night will be played.  It's in that quiet moment that I find the most reverence for the Season.  It's my time to think about the not so quiet moments when Mary was giving birth to Jesus (I've been through birth.  It's not quiet and peaceful).  And to think about how Jesus left heaven and all it's glory to be born in a stable full of stinky animals, knowing that some day he would have to die for us.

All because He loved me.  And you. 

So celebrate we will.  Merry Christmas.

Choosing Joy

At moments like this in life joy doesn't come easily.  Even though Christmas has exploded around us, my heart is weary.  I am still not sleeping (4 hours total in the past 2 days).  Ainsley and I both have colds.  I have a party at my house on Saturday for over 50 people.  To say that I am worn to the bone would be an understatement.

I know I have every excuse to choose to be grumpy this Christmas Season.  But I am choosing joy.  Because I have to.  I am called to.  Otherwise this would be in vain. 

 

And thankfully I don't have to find that Joy within myself.  That Joy comes from Our Savior.  And that is something to celebrate.

From the Mouth of a Toddler

I love Easter.  I love everything about it.  This year my parents came to visit.  They arrived on Thursday night and left on Monday morning.  It was a wonderful visit. 

We enjoyed some of the traditions of Easter and made some new ones.  We made our hot cross buns on Friday, and since we were at my house they didn't have raisins in them.  Perfect.  We spent Friday night at Ryan's dad's house with Ryan's siblings.  We went to the zoo on Saturday and enjoyed the animals. 

On Sunday we had Ryan's mom and siblings over for Easter brunch.  It was a new tradition that we will do again.  In the past we have always gone out to brunch and fighting that crowd is really ridiculous.  Ainsley had her first Easter Egg hunt in the front yard.  With each egg she picked up she said..."Its an Egg" (or something like that in 20 month old speak).

But my favorite moment of the whole weekend came on Sunday.  How fitting.  We have been bringing Ainsley into the worship service for the singing and then bringing her to the nursery for the sermon.  She loves it.  As we were leaving church and my mind was going towards all I had to do to get brunch on the table in an hour, Ainsley looked up at me and said "I wanna sing". 

It melted my heart.  You see, I love the songs on Easter.  I love coming to church on Easter Sunday knowing He is Alive!  And nothing says He is Alive more to me than singing Christ the Lord is Risen Today!  And now my daughter loves it too.  And that's a tradition I pray will continue for her whole life.

I'm in Trouble

You know I'm on a diet. You know I have a goal of 12 lbs in 8 weeks leading up to a cruise on March 7th. You may not know, but I've lost 10 lbs already and I still have 2.5 weeks to go.  I kind of figured...no problem...

Enter this tweet from Emily - "Target has the Easter stuff out. It's very...pastel. "

You may think of easter baskets, bunnies, plastic eggs...

Nope...this is what my mind thinks of...

Yep...Easter candy.  The best candy of the whole year.  It beats out Christmas and Halloween by a long shot.  When else can you get chocolate filled with creamy yummy sugar made to look like an egg.  I mean how do they do that.  It has a yolk.  I mean really.  What could be better?

Maybe this version.  No fun yolk, but it's an egg filled with caramel.  Chocolate...good.  Caramel....good.  What's not to like.

Then there's the classic Reese's Egg.  Kind of like a Reese's cup but way better.  Its so thick of the wonderful sugary peanut butter.  Too good to pass up.

And you can't forget about the fruity candy too.  What's Easter without jelly beans and what better jelly beans are there than Starburst?  

So you see my dilema.  There is good news.  I can walk right past these...

 

Good thing too because I was starting to get a sugar rush.  I guess I better go pop my Jillian Michaels video in because I already consumed enough jelly beans today to make it so I can't have dinner unless I burn some calories.

Catch Up

It's been a crazy busy week since we have been back from the beach. Here's the fast version...

I'm getting ready to release a major upgrade to my software at work which requires a lot of work with Brian @ the Leon Magazine, our web developer.

I exercised 5 days last week. I'm realizing it's much harder to get back in shape this time due to either age or being post-pardon or maybe a combination of both

I got lost on my way home from Jason and Leah's house the other day. I have been there a million times and yet I still got lost. I was trying to not do a 3 point turn and it cost me 20 minutes. I only got home because of my iPhone.

I spent Friday running around the world looking for baby pools for Ainsley and getting chicken supplies. The day went way to fast and I didn't get nearly enough done.

I woke up on Saturday morning to realize that Bonnie Ray the hen was really Billy Ray the rooster. Cook-a-freaking-doodle-do. Ryan had to take him back to the farm for a replacement.

I went to my friend Laura's wedding yesterday. It was 95 degrees and outside with minimal shade. BUT it was such a blessing to see 2 wonderful people join their lives in front of God and a bunch of friends. I happened to run into Caroline who I know from a totally different context.

I picked Ainsley up from Anne's and she was definitely sick. I had dropped her off with a 100.9 fever and by the time we got home it was 103.7. I hate medicine but she definitely got her share. She and I are home from church today hoping she gets better before tomorrow.

Today is Father's Day. I have a lot of Fathers in my life. There is Blu, Ryan's step dad. I love his compassion and his loving spirit. There is Bob, Ryan's dad. I love his sense of humor and how he really gets me. There is my dad. What's not to love, I am a younger female version of him. Most importantly there is Ryan, my baby daddy. He is the best dad I could ever ask for Ainsley. He loves her and is a great model for her.

I have been working on a post about the garden but that is going to have to wait. I'll sign off with this cute picture.

The Examples

This Mother's Day is obviously special for me. It's my first one. I must say, I am enjoying motherhood more than I could ever imagine. I think it's because I have 2 wonderful examples of what it is to be a loving mother. My mothers are both very different and I feel blessed to have them in my life.

My Mother in Law (or should I say Mother in Love), Lonnie has shown me many things over the years. She has shown me how to be a supportive and encouraging mother. She supports her children in everything they do. She encourages them to dream and to follow through with those dreams. She encourages them all to be who God created them to be. She affirms their decisions and gives unconditional love even when they make decisions she doesn't agree with. She is very accepting of the women her sons have chosen to share their lives with. She has embraced both Jenny and I as daughters. She is down right a lovely person. I realized that I need more pictures of her because my most recent picture of her is with Ainsley right after she was born. Oops. Sorry.

Lonnie - I love you!

My mother has shown me how to exude grace as a mother. She encourages me constantly to look to the One who made us. She loves with such a nurturing spirit. When I think of my mother, I think of warm hugs and gentleness and of course homemade chocolate chip cookies. She is an example of how to love a child with Godly discipline. She is never quick to anger and is always slow to speak. She has shown me how to train children in the ways of God. She has shown me how to love a husband the way that God calls us to love husbands. All three of her daughters follow Jesus and I believe it's in a big part because of her influence. In my head, my mother is synonymous with Love.

Mom - I love you!

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mothers in my life!

I Learned Something About Myself

I have never been that big into holidays. I always thought that I didn't care. Apparently, I do.

As you know, Saturday was Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day falls exactly 9 days after our anniversary so we never make a big deal out of it. Usually it involves the exchange of cards and maybe some chocolates for me.

This year, we were spending the evening with our great friends. Prior to them coming over, I gave Ryan his card. It was then that I realized that he didn't have anything for me. I wasn't very shocked. Ryan doesn't remember things like this until the last minute and I could account for all of his time during the day.

What surprised me is how hurt I was. I wasn't looking for a gift. Honestly, that's not my thing. My thing is words of affirmation. I love to be affirmed and to be encouraged. It melts my heart so quickly. What I wanted was a card with a few nice sentences about Ryan's love for me.

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. To say that I let it go would be a lie. I let Ryan have it. I probably shouldn't have and my motives were purely selfish, but I did it anyway. Needless to say, I made him feel really bad.

Today while I was at church (Ainsley is still coughing), Ryan wrote on my facebook wall. He gave me a list of things he likes about me. It was perfect and exactly what I needed to melt my heart and diffuse the anger that I had built against him.

So Ryan, thank you. Even though it was late, it was exactly what I wanted. I guess you do know me. And yes, I love you too!

Looking Back and Forward

As the new day came today with a New Year, I was prompted like most people to look where I have been and where I am headed.

This past year has been a wonderful one for me. There is not much that I can complain about. The year is really split into 2 parts for me with a date of July 6, 2008 being the transition from one part to the next.

Prior to July 6, it was just a Ryan and me. I was pregnant, so it wasn't really just me but parenting was still more of a concept than a reality in my mind. We were looking forward to the birth of our daughter with great expectations. I spent so much time trying to imagine what labor would be like and what holding a new infant would be like. I didn't think much past what the first few weeks would be like. That felt like enough for my imagination. Ryan and I spent countless hours pouring over the name book. We really struggled settling in on just one. We were so excited to start this new chapter in our lives.

There were other non-pregnancy things that were good about this past year. I am reminded again of how blessed I am with a great job at a great company. I am doing what I love to do and I work with some incredible people. My boss was so gracious with me through my pregnancy with doctor appointment after doctor appointment and many other accommodations. I forgot how to carry a computer around. I couldn't reset our fax server because I couldn't fit into the space to get to it. He took up a lot of slack for me while I was pregnant. Most of all, he was gracious with an extended maternity leave and a transition to a part time schedule.

Ryan and I also celebrated 8 years of marriage. I can't believe it's been that long and yet it feels like just yesterday we were those crazy young people setting out on this journey of marriage. We have really grown up together and it's so fun to watch our relationship change again as we add parenting to the mix. From the moment I told Ryan that I was pregnant, he stepped up as the Dad that I always knew he would be.

Then came labor and delivery. I won't go into that AGAIN. I have bored you enough with it. But Ainsley Elizabeth arrived on the scene and my life changed forever. Those first few weeks were rough but we quickly settled into our routine. I have to say that being a mother has truly changed me. I am not the same person I was from little things I do to big decisions. Sometimes it's still hard for me to believe that this child was once a glimmer in my heart, and then a tiny baby in my stomach, and then a "tiny human" (as Ryan refers to her). I still find myself going into her room at night and just watching her sleep amazed at God's wonderful gift to us. I really feel that this is what I was designed to do. I am relishing in every moment of it.

So now it's time to put 2008 away and move on to the New Year. I am looking forward to all the new things that are to come in 2009. There are many "firsts" in my future from first teeth, to first steps, to first words. But there are also many other things that will be in my future. There will be many great times had with friends and family. There will be more accomplishments at my job. There will be places to serve within our church. There will be experiences that I can't even imagine right now. There will no doubt be struggles as well. I look forward to those to as I consider them wonderful opportunities to rely on the God that I love so deeply.

Let's run into 2009 with great expectations.

Happy New Year!

My Christmas Present

Away in a Manger

My favorite part of Christmas is my collection of nativities. About 7 years ago, I decided I wanted a nativity as part of my Christmas decorations. I started looking for one and couldn't find one. I couldn't believe how hard they were to find. It started to bug me that Santa decorations were much more prevalent that Jesus decorations. Isn't this holiday completely about Jesus? What happened to remembering that baby in a manger? I made it my mission to make Christmas about Christ in our house. I started to collect nativities.

To date I have 17 of them. They are all different. I have them from all over the world. No two are anything alike. Each year I pick up another 1 or 2. My parents bought me a really nice traditional one. My mother in law buys me them from different countries. Each year, I am most excited to get these boxes out. I enjoy my tree as well, but nothing compares to bringing out these nativities. It's like my own Advent. I look forward to it with great expectation.

Here are a few of my favorites.

This one is Greek.


This is my traditional one that sits on the mantel

This is my Advent calendar. Each day is a member of the scene

This one is wicker

This one may be sacrilegious but its cute and goes in Ainsley's room. Is snowman Jesus wrong?

What are your favorite decorations and traditions of Christmas?

Thankful Thanksgiving Thursday

Today I thought it would only be right to post a Thankful Thursday post. This year we have so much to be thankful for. I can't possibly list everything but here are my favorites from the past year:

1. A relationship with the King of Kings
2. The birth of our extremely wonderful baby - Ainsley
3. A continued loving healthy marriage
4. An incredibly supportive family
5. A wonderful job
6. A great house that we can call home
7. A country where freedom is the rule, not the exception

There is so much more. As the day passes today, I encourage you to spend some time thinking of what you are most thankful for. Remind yourself that today isn't just about food and family, its about being thankful to the One that gave us life and life abundant.

Happy Thanksgiving!