Monday, April 18, 2011

Find Those Eggs

I have been struggling with what to put up on my blog.  I have this general feeling that my blog should always be profound and deep.  But sometimes my life isn't deep at all.  Actually most of the time my life is commentated by a 2 year old.  And life with a 2 year old can only be so profound. 

So this post is exclusively about a 2 year old and her Easter Eggs.  It made her smile so it made me smile.

We went to our church's Easter Egg hunt this past Saturday.  They were calling for tornadoes so it was inside.

Patiently Waiting for it to Start

No Eggs Yet

Listening Carefully to What Pastor James is Saying

And He Lost Her

Look Carefully

"There Egg" - Each time she found an egg

She even found her good friend Karene

Checking out the Loot

Look Mommy - Candy!

And A Book About Jesus - Which she quickly declared that she loved.

Heading Home One Happy Girl

And we beat the storms home.  Quite the Success!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Have you ever felt like your life is stuck?  Emotionally? Spiritually? Physically?

I have been stuck for months now.  I had the miscarriage in late November.  It's now the beginning of April.  And I feel like I haven't moved since then. 

I have been meeting with a woman from my church a couple times a month.  We started meeting as I was in the throws of trying to get pregnant.  Since I'm an open book, I told her about it from the beginning.  Little did she know when she agreed to disciple me that she was walking into a mine field.  And little did I know that I was inviting her to walk a very difficult road with me.

Fast forward to now.  I have dealt with the sadness of the miscarriage.  I have been stuck in the angry part of it for a while.  Part of my anger has to deal with the fact that my body hasn't picked up physically since the miscarriage.  It's in a perpetual state of limbo with no chance of moving forward.

But more of my anger has to do with this situation not being fair.  I've been mad at God.  And so I have turned my back and given Him the silent treatment.  I haven't wanted to talk to Him about it because I was just so mad. How 2 year old tantrum of me.

And the other week when I was meeting with my friend she asked me if I was willing to let God change my heart.  And my answer was that I wasn't willing to stay where I was.  It wasn't the full blown YES that I think she or God wanted to hear but it has opened dialog.

And so I have been praying.  And I am feeling less angry than I have in a long time even though my body is still not cooperating.  But I'm taking steps to un-stick that too.

I'm moving forward slowly.  It feels slow but it feels good. And that feels like enough right now.
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