Friday, February 27, 2009

The Community of Women

When I was young I always used to say that I enjoyed hanging out with guys more than girls. During college, I had very few good women friends. I hung out in Ryan's dorm room with all of his guy friends all the time. It got to the point where there was no difference between me and them in his mind or mine. I have to admit I was there the night they were all lighting farts and no one thought anything of the female presence in the room, but that's a story for another time.

When I lived in Winston right after we got married, Ryan and I became part of a community of young married couples in our church. There were a lot of us and it was one of the best times of our lives. It was during this time that I learned the importance of women in your life and embracing your femininity.

I am still not super "girly" but I do enjoy the women in my life so much more now. I consider it pure joy to hang out with them. I go to them when I need advice. They are so important to me.

Some of the greatest women in my life right now are:

My Mom - She knows me better than anyone except maybe Ryan. She loves me for who I am and in all my faults. She is a great spiritual mentor and a great friend. I wish we still lived close by but I do enjoy my almost daily phone calls.

My Mother in Law - My mother in law is a great cheerleader. I feel most loved by words of affirmation and she knows this about me. She is always there with a word of encouragement. I really do enjoy living 2 miles away from her.

Anne - She is so great in letting me speak my mind. I don't ever have to worry about offending her and she let's me be who I am and say what I think. Anne has been a great joy in my transition to parenting.

Lindsay - She is one of those women from the group of young people in Winston. She has taught me so much about caring for women. We drifted when we were in NY but I am happy to say that she is one of the more important women in my life again.

Jessica - She is one of the newest members of this list. She and I have such a fun relationship. We enjoy just spending time with each other both on IM and in person. She stirs me on in my competitive nature.

Lori - She started as just a work friend but is now one of those important women in my life. She lets me talk about me - HA! She is a great listener and really cares for me and my family. She is always interested in the happenings of my life and never bores of hearing about my child. What more could you ask for?

Kate - Even though Kate lives in NYC and we talk rarely, this list would not be complete without her. She is my oldest friend and someone who knows me best outside of my family. When I have real issues in my life, she is on the top of the list of people to call. She and I have a very easy friendship because we don't have to talk all the time. When we do it's wonderful and feels like no time has passed.

So as I go about my weekend, I am ready to enjoy my women. This weekend will be full of them. I am meeting Lori for lunch today. There is a Women's Tea at church on Saturday and I am having some women friends over to hang out on Saturday night. What could be better than that?

Saturday, February 21, 2009

A Month in the Life of Ainsley

Ainsley wanted to share a few highlights from her 7th month!

I started teething and Mommy gave me a carrot to chew on to sooth my gums. I liked it much more than those plastic teething rings.

Zoom in and you can see my teeth! Mommy says I'm being good and not biting because they are SHARP!

There was a cold day that I had to get bundled up really warm to go to Aunt Leah's house.

Happy Valentine's Day! Mommy was my Valentine this year. Notice my bow. I sport one just about everyday now. They aren't serving too much of a purpose besides fashion. Mommy is way more concerned about my hair than her own right now. I think it's funny.

Me and my favorite pug, Libby. I watch her constantly and laugh at the funny things that she does. She even lets me grab her tail. I like the way her fur feels in my hands. Mommy says that Libby is being nicer than anyone expected. I like Tucker too but he ignores me. Mommy says he's getting stubborn in his old age.

I just finished my carrots...They are all over my shirt but I am happy! I love to eat everything Mommy gives me.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

D-Day Approaches

I am a computer programmer by trade. I work part time for a local insurance company. I have already written a part of the software that our company uses to underwrite business. I am in the process of writing another portion of this software that will handle a second aspect of our business.

This project is a year in the making. I started on it before I went out on maternity leave. We are going live on March 1st (actually the 2nd since the 1st is a Sunday). My boss has actually stated that we are not going to miss the deadline no matter what.

I can't help but be nervous. As with anything you do, you want it to be your best. It is scriptural to do your best in everything. As we near the deadline I can only wonder if my best is going to be good enough. I know that I can fix anything that comes up, but I really worry that everyone's first impressions of the system will set the tone going forward.

So I am frantically going about fixing last minute details. I am thinking of things in the middle of the night. I am logging on to work during my afternoons to check on little things.

I'm off to program some more! My best is on the line.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

I Learned Something About Myself

I have never been that big into holidays. I always thought that I didn't care. Apparently, I do.

As you know, Saturday was Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day falls exactly 9 days after our anniversary so we never make a big deal out of it. Usually it involves the exchange of cards and maybe some chocolates for me.

This year, we were spending the evening with our great friends. Prior to them coming over, I gave Ryan his card. It was then that I realized that he didn't have anything for me. I wasn't very shocked. Ryan doesn't remember things like this until the last minute and I could account for all of his time during the day.

What surprised me is how hurt I was. I wasn't looking for a gift. Honestly, that's not my thing. My thing is words of affirmation. I love to be affirmed and to be encouraged. It melts my heart so quickly. What I wanted was a card with a few nice sentences about Ryan's love for me.

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. To say that I let it go would be a lie. I let Ryan have it. I probably shouldn't have and my motives were purely selfish, but I did it anyway. Needless to say, I made him feel really bad.

Today while I was at church (Ainsley is still coughing), Ryan wrote on my facebook wall. He gave me a list of things he likes about me. It was perfect and exactly what I needed to melt my heart and diffuse the anger that I had built against him.

So Ryan, thank you. Even though it was late, it was exactly what I wanted. I guess you do know me. And yes, I love you too!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Technology Anonymous

Ainsley has been sick since Thursday and I have barely been able to get out of the house. I feel strongly about not spreading these germs. So I was ready to hole myself up with my TV, my computer, and my phone.

Enter Ryan with the tiller. On Saturday Ryan and Omar were tilling the garden getting it ready to grow all our delicious vegetables for the summer. I had just finished the previous post and published Internet. I checked the TV. I checked my phone (we use vonage) phone. I ran outside to see Ryan holding a large portion of our cable wire in his hand. I quickly called the cable company. They couldn't come out until Monday.

So here I was holed up in the house and I was stranded without all the things I love the most. Do you think that I picked up a book? Nope. I played on my phone the entire time. My current Word Warp score is 63,800. I know I am addicted to technology and this proved it.

Is there a support group for that?

Saturday, February 7, 2009

I am a Mom

Over the past couple of days I have been trying to get onto the computer to type a new post. On Wednesday I wanted to write something about work. On Thursday I wanted to write something about being married for 9 years (Happy Anniversary Ryan). On Friday I wanted to write about anything. Today I realize that I can only think of one thing in my life right now - my sick baby girl and my need to take care of her.

Ainsley woke up on Thursday morning sounding hoarse and sick. It came on very quickly. I quickly reshuffled schedules and brought her over to Ryan's mom's house. I called Leah and told her to look into finding a place for Logan for the afternoon. I went to work and tried to concentrate. My mind was one place - home with my baby. I left an hour early and came home to find a pathetic looking child who needed to see the doctor. We went to the doctor and were informed that she has croup. We were told to keep her sitting up and bring her out to the cold to help her breath. Make her sleep in her car seat sitting up. Mostly the instructions were to just let it run its course.

So here I am on Saturday afternoon and I haven't left the house since Thursday afternoon. I have spent time just cuddling and holding my baby. She has been sick before but nothing like this.

As I have held Ainsley a realization has really sunk into me for one of the first times. Prior to now I really felt like she could be happy with anyone. But now I know...I am her Mom. I am the one that she wants when she doesn't feel good. I am the one who is there to take care of her. I am the one who will let her cough so hard she throws up on me. I am the one who will hold her as she cries. I know I am many other things too. Those other parts of my life are important. But right now, I am only one thing...a Mom.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Life with Logan

I started this week taking care of Logan in the afternoons. I have to say, I was pretty nervous. 2 babies under the age of 7 months is enough to scare anyone. I don't know how people with twins do it.

Leah dropped Logan off yesterday and away we went. On a side note, I have to say that Leah did great going back to work. She was obviously feeling the emotions of leaving but did a great job with the transition. She did quite a bit better than I did.

Logan has been a great addition for the first 2 days. He has gone down for naps well. He eats well. He's just a generally happy baby when he's awake.

I still think the funniest thing is that he looks just like his dad. If you put glasses on him and he was bigger they could be twins. I look forward to seeing grown up Logan standing next to his dad.
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