Monday, January 21, 2013

My Hands

I used to have desk job hands.  They had fingernails that were never chipped or broken.  They were pretty.  They even showcased a beautiful engagement and wedding ring.

This week, the wind was knocked out of my sales.  I found out that my replacement was promoted within 6 months of being at the company.  A promotion I never got.  Maybe that was because I was part time.  But maybe it wasn't.  My self doubt went haywire.  I went through a funk.  I cried.  I got mad at my husband. 

Today I wasn't really thinking about it at all when I was putting together boxes for our "side busines".  I had a lot today.  40 to be exact.  I was just doing my thing.  Taping, stuffing with newspaper, wrapping bottles, taping.  Pretty mundane stuff.

When I finished the 40 boxes, I looked at my hands.  They were ashy and dry.  Cracked.  Black from newspaper print. Fingernails all crooked and broken.  My rings were on my dresser like they always are except for when we go out somewhere out of the ordinary or to church.  Definitely not the hands of my old life.

And yes, my life is different now.  There are no hopes and disappointments of promotions.  But there is money in the bank from our side business.  There are 2 very happy children.  There is a husband who gets cared for much better. 

Overall, those messed up, tired, nasty looking hands tell me that my life if happy and good. 

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