Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Say What?!?!

It's been a week.  A week I will never forget.  A week that deserves to be the fresh start of this blog. 

Ryan and I have been talking about having a third child.  We have weighed all the things that go into that decision:  the house, the schooling, my age, etc.  It's a complex decision.  I always felt like there were a million reasons why we should stay at 2 kids and yet there was something in my heart that was pulling me to have just one more. 

We hadn't fully made the decision to go for a 3rd when on a whim I took a pregnancy test.  Low and behold, we didn't have a decision to make.  I was already pregnant.  We were ecstatic and were immediately talking of a new house and how we just couldn't decide if we wanted a boy or a girl.  Things were looking good. 

Because I didn't really know when my last month's period was, I didn't really know how far along I was.  This all happened because I was weaning David and messed my cycle up.  The plan was to take some blood work and make sure I was far enough that we would see something on an ultrasound. 

So we took blood work on Tuesday and then again on Thursday.  HCG numbers are supposed to roughly double during a 48 hour period of time.  The midwife called me on Thursday and said my numbers had gone slightly down and that I should come to the hospital for an ultrasound. 

I knew what this meant.  I was headed down the road of another miscarriage. 

I called Ryan and he came home from work.  The kids went to Grandma's house and we somberly checked into the ER.  I wasn't a wreck but I was very sad.  I just knew we had lost the baby.  My first thoughts were making sure we got a D&C this time because I wasn't going to go through what I went to last time. 

We sat in the triage room for what felt like forever.  They finally brought us back to ultrasound.  The ultrasound tech informed us that she was legally not allowed to tell us anything so just sit back and relax.  The room was dark and quiet.  I was crying off and on.  Ryan held my hand.  We couldn't see the screen.  We just looked at each other and tried to make light hearted conversation.

We finished up and I scrubbed all the ultrasound gel off.  We walked back to the ER and waited some more.  I just wanted this to be over.  I wanted to rip the band aid off and be done with this whole horrible experience. 

The nurse came in to check on us and asked what was taking so long.  She pulled up the ultrasound pics on the computer in the room.  She called Ryan over and said, do you see what I see?  Ryan has never been good with ultrasounds so he had no idea what he was looking at.  She said I think I see 2 babies with 2 heartbeats.  He looked at me and I just said "Oh Sh!t". 

And just like that she left the room and told us to hold on she would see what was taking so long.  Ryan and I looked at each other and just said "What just happened?"  But there was still probably something wrong so we shouldn't get our hopes up.  This next 20 minutes of waiting seemed to take forever.  Was it twins?  Were they ok?  What was going on?

The midwife did come back in eventually and told us that yes indeed we were pregnant with twins and they both look great.  She has no explanation for my HCG levels.  But these identical twins were doing great. 

We talked about the different types of twins and the chances of these babies being in one sac (Mono/Mono).  We were on our way into a potentially very high risk and scary pregnancy.  We were told to go home and rest and get checked with our regular OB in a 4 weeks. 

We left the hospital cautiously optimistic.  We were excited.  We were shocked.  We were scared.  Pretty much exactly what you would expect. 

But one thing for sure, we were not the same people that walked in 4 hours earlier. 

3D picture of 2 babies.  Very hard to see.

                Baby A                                                                                     Baby B

2 Yolk Sacs.  Hopefully a sign of 2 future Gestational Sacs

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