It Could Be So Different

Reflection is a good thing.  Looking back on where you have been and what the Lord has done is always a good exercise. 

I'm sitting in my quiet house tonight with 2 sleeping kids with my hand on my stomach feeling the baby in my womb move around.  Ryan is out of town on a business trip.  He never travels so this is a strange occurrence for me.  And as I sit here by myself, I can't help but think of what it would be like if he weren't here.

Ryan and I met when we were very young.  I was a freshman in college and he was a junior.  Neither of us really knew who we were.  We were starry eyed teenagers.  Well I was.  He was an old man at the age of 20!  In all practicality, he was the only boyfriend I ever had (those boyfriends that lasted 2 months in high school just don't count).

We got engaged when I had just turned 21.  On February 5th 15 years ago, we got married at the ages of 22 and 24. 

As I look forward to our 15th anniversary next week, I'm just struck by the Lord's goodness to us.  We both had relationships with God when we got married.  But we didn't really know God.  We were not just young in age, but young in our faith.  We both had grown up in the church, but we didn't really have a firm grasp on the character of God and our own character and our own imperfections.

Over the past 15 years we have dealt with our share of good times and bad.  We have moved over 600 miles away and back again.  We have endured bad jobs.  We have celebrated great jobs.  We have adopted dogs and watched as those dogs got old and died.  We have been to weddings.  We have been to funerals.  We have had children.  We have lost children. 

And now here we are.  Closer than ever.  And I can't help but ask why.  My only answer has to be grace and grace that can only come from a Heavenly Father who loves us so very much.  As we have been through all those things, the best part is actually watching each other grow in Christ and knowing that we are walking this path together.  It's because of His graciousness that we are here.  Oh how different it could be. 

And as we cling to Him in all things, I can't help but be reminded of the scripture that our wedding was based around.  We built our rings around it.  We have built our lives around it.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

⁹ Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. ¹⁰ For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! ¹¹ Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? ¹² And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.