Lists

If you have read this blog at all, you know I love lists. As my friend Beth said the other day, sometimes I make them just so I can cross things off of them. It brings such a sense of accomplishment. I did that. I accomplished my goals. I am good.

Then in Sunday School the other day, we were given 2 lists. It was called a Self-Assessment. There was a list called "The Orphan" and another called "The Son/Daughter".

Some of the things on "The Orphan" were:

• Lives on a success/fail basis
• Struggles to trust things to God
• Feels discouraged or defeated
• Solution to failure: "Try Harder"
• A "competent analyst" of other's weaknesses
• Tends to compare yourself with others

Some of the things on "The Son/Daughter" were:

• Not fearful of God
• Freedom from making a name for yourself
• Content in relationships because you are accepted by God
• Is teachable by others
• Content with what Christ has provided
• Doesn't always have to be right
• Is able to freely confess your faults to others
• Experiences more and more victory over the flesh
• God truly satisfies your soul

The exercise was to identify tendencies you see in yourself in the first list and places you most want to grow in the second list.

I wanted so badly to check things off and to feel the sense of accomplishment. Instead I began to feel deep conviction. I was focused on the first list. The struggles are deep. The failure is felt. I for once didn't want to check everything on the list.

And then I thought about the second list. It wasn't a list of things we are good at. It was a list of things that we wanted to have God grow in us. Wow. I'm not responsible for the second list. He is. I can ask but it's not about me doing something. It's about faith in knowing He will.

Grace. Check that off!