Looking Back and Forward

As the new day came today with a New Year, I was prompted like most people to look where I have been and where I am headed.

This past year has been a wonderful one for me. There is not much that I can complain about. The year is really split into 2 parts for me with a date of July 6, 2008 being the transition from one part to the next.

Prior to July 6, it was just a Ryan and me. I was pregnant, so it wasn't really just me but parenting was still more of a concept than a reality in my mind. We were looking forward to the birth of our daughter with great expectations. I spent so much time trying to imagine what labor would be like and what holding a new infant would be like. I didn't think much past what the first few weeks would be like. That felt like enough for my imagination. Ryan and I spent countless hours pouring over the name book. We really struggled settling in on just one. We were so excited to start this new chapter in our lives.

There were other non-pregnancy things that were good about this past year. I am reminded again of how blessed I am with a great job at a great company. I am doing what I love to do and I work with some incredible people. My boss was so gracious with me through my pregnancy with doctor appointment after doctor appointment and many other accommodations. I forgot how to carry a computer around. I couldn't reset our fax server because I couldn't fit into the space to get to it. He took up a lot of slack for me while I was pregnant. Most of all, he was gracious with an extended maternity leave and a transition to a part time schedule.

Ryan and I also celebrated 8 years of marriage. I can't believe it's been that long and yet it feels like just yesterday we were those crazy young people setting out on this journey of marriage. We have really grown up together and it's so fun to watch our relationship change again as we add parenting to the mix. From the moment I told Ryan that I was pregnant, he stepped up as the Dad that I always knew he would be.

Then came labor and delivery. I won't go into that AGAIN. I have bored you enough with it. But Ainsley Elizabeth arrived on the scene and my life changed forever. Those first few weeks were rough but we quickly settled into our routine. I have to say that being a mother has truly changed me. I am not the same person I was from little things I do to big decisions. Sometimes it's still hard for me to believe that this child was once a glimmer in my heart, and then a tiny baby in my stomach, and then a "tiny human" (as Ryan refers to her). I still find myself going into her room at night and just watching her sleep amazed at God's wonderful gift to us. I really feel that this is what I was designed to do. I am relishing in every moment of it.

So now it's time to put 2008 away and move on to the New Year. I am looking forward to all the new things that are to come in 2009. There are many "firsts" in my future from first teeth, to first steps, to first words. But there are also many other things that will be in my future. There will be many great times had with friends and family. There will be more accomplishments at my job. There will be places to serve within our church. There will be experiences that I can't even imagine right now. There will no doubt be struggles as well. I look forward to those to as I consider them wonderful opportunities to rely on the God that I love so deeply.

Let's run into 2009 with great expectations.

Happy New Year!