I Learned Something About Myself

I have never been that big into holidays. I always thought that I didn't care. Apparently, I do.

As you know, Saturday was Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day falls exactly 9 days after our anniversary so we never make a big deal out of it. Usually it involves the exchange of cards and maybe some chocolates for me.

This year, we were spending the evening with our great friends. Prior to them coming over, I gave Ryan his card. It was then that I realized that he didn't have anything for me. I wasn't very shocked. Ryan doesn't remember things like this until the last minute and I could account for all of his time during the day.

What surprised me is how hurt I was. I wasn't looking for a gift. Honestly, that's not my thing. My thing is words of affirmation. I love to be affirmed and to be encouraged. It melts my heart so quickly. What I wanted was a card with a few nice sentences about Ryan's love for me.

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. To say that I let it go would be a lie. I let Ryan have it. I probably shouldn't have and my motives were purely selfish, but I did it anyway. Needless to say, I made him feel really bad.

Today while I was at church (Ainsley is still coughing), Ryan wrote on my facebook wall. He gave me a list of things he likes about me. It was perfect and exactly what I needed to melt my heart and diffuse the anger that I had built against him.

So Ryan, thank you. Even though it was late, it was exactly what I wanted. I guess you do know me. And yes, I love you too!