Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Saying Goodbye

My friend Emily over at chattingathesky.com encourages her readers to stop every Tuesday and to unwrap the little moments we have in our life, to really stop and think about the things that we are blessed with. I've written posts before but have been in a slump recently.

Today I couldn't help but think about Ryan's Grandma. She's the one who turned 90 in October. Well, she has taken a turn that we just don't think she will recover from. The doctors are saying that there is nothing else they can do and that her heart is just giving out. They are saying that she has a couple months left at most. We actually thought we were going to lose her last week but she seems to be pulling out of immediate danger.

So now we have been given a gift. A gift of being able to say goodbye. We can enjoy these last few months. We can visit her and just spend time with her. Thankfully she is still fairly lucid, although she does have moments that make you scratch your head.

I was not given this gift with my grand parents. My grandfather died before I was born. My grandmother died when I was preschool age. I remember her but saying goodbye wasn't an issue. My other grandfather died when I was in 3rd grade. I was really too young to know what was going on. My other grandmother (GiGi) died when I was newly married. When she was dying, I chose not to go say goodbye. I have to say that this is one of those regrets in my life. I know she knew that I loved her. I know that she was much less lucid and probably wouldn't have even known me, but I really have feelings of regret over this.

So now I feel like I have been given a second chance. Ryan's grandmother has been my grandmother for over 10 years. She has treated me like her own. And now I have been given the gift that I thought I lost with GiGi. In a way, I feel like I am saying goodbye to both of them. So during this season of life, I am unwrapping the gift of time and second chances.


  1. Tracey, this is a beautiful post. My grandparent story is similar to yours in that I did not have the chance to say goodbye either. What a sweet perspective you have, to cherish that goodbye with her. So many people don't get the opportunity to say good bye to those they love. Thank you for sharing this.

  2. this is a lovely gift... even though it is not an easy one. it can't even be easy to put down the words...
    enjoy the timet hat remains... i imagine that you will fill it with much joy and be making many memories :)

  3. Take advantage of this time..such a special gift!

  4. What an amazing gift. I lost my grandmother and my husband's grandmother within 5 weeks of each other. I loved on them before their deaths. They knew I was there and what I was saying. It meant so much to me. Speak words of love to her heart. She will hear you.

  5. This makes me want to cry. I'm so sad for you at the idea of soon losing someone you love, but I'm happy that you're being provided with an opportunity to say goodbye the way you wanted to with your own grandma. God bless you and your family as you're going through this difficult transition.


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