The Spirit of a Child

I have been following the story of an 8 year old girl with stage 4 cancer on Twitter.  Don't ask me why.  I just came across it and started following her about 6 months ago.  I never imagined that I would get so invested in this little girl's fight against cancer.

She lost the battle today.

It's been heart wrenching to watch her mother's updates on caring bridge.  It's made me reflect alot on my life and my role as a mother. 

I often think it's my job as her mother to help her through the big things and help her grow up.  But as I think about Ellie and her mother Amy, I'm thinking that she is not going to remember things like potty training and eating habits.  She's going to remember her spirit.  Her joy and her love.  Her love for Jesus.  She's going to remember that on her death bed, Ellie annoited her mother's head with oil to help her deal with the loss.  That's powerful.

So my challenge today is to really look into my child's spirit, to enjoy the love and joy that oozes out of her.  And to teach her what it is to have a spirit like Christ.  It's my job to lead her on the path of life that follows Him.  So that if something tragic were to happen to her or if she lives to a ripe age of 100, she will be able to enjoy the presence of the King forever. 

Just like Ellie.

Do You Ever Feel Like This?

I fought a cold for 4 days.  It won.  I have been sick for 3.  I'm tired. I don't feel good. And my daughter peed on the floor 4 times today.  Not my day. 

(This picture came from a photo shoot with my friend Jenn from http://tortugaskyphotography.com/  She's awesome even when most of the faces that your child gives look like the one above.  I'll post some "happy" pics another day when I feel more like it.)

Some of My Favorite Things

I've been focused on my child so much lately that I needed a reminder of who I am and what I like.  As I have been going through this exercise, I thought I would share it with you.

Jesus
What's not to love.  King of the Universe.  God of Mercy.  God of Love.  God of Justice.  God of me.

Family

I love my family, the one I grew up in, the one I married into, and the one we are creating.  Here's an oldie but goodie of the 4 generations that represent a branch of my family.

My House
Best to use a quote here from one of my favorite books.  "I love my house.  I love my nest.  In all the world, my nest is best"

Wine

Everyone always catches on quickly when I get pregnant (which I am not currently in case you were wondering) because I do love my wine.

Candy

I dedicated a whole post to it over Easter.  I know I'm supposedly this healthy vegetarian but I do love my candy.

Taco Bell

Not much to say here.  Bean burritos from Taco Bell are just so yummy.  I'm using the old logo here on purpose.  It's a sort of comfort for my comfort food.

Side Note...Can you tell I'm hungry.  My list just went completely to my tummy.  Ok. Back to the list

Technology

It's part of my job but I just love when new technology comes out.  I love all the shiny new toys.  But I'm cheap so I usually just admire them from a far. But my boss bought me an original iPhone a couple years ago and now the new one's out and I keep dropping hints to him to buy me a new one.  It's new and shiny and in it's own way, kind of sexy.

My Bed

I love to sleep.  Make the room nice and dark, kind of like a cave, and I could sleep there forever.  This one really hits me on Thursday nights after I've worked all week.

The Adirondacks

We grew up vacationing there and now my parents have retired there.  When we lived in Albany, we would go every other weekend or more.  Now that we don't live there anymore, I miss going there so much.  I relish my week in the summer, even if you do have to wear a down coat to the 4th of July parade.  Here's a picture of Ryan on his jetski ruining the peace and quiet for everyone else.  But he's hot doing it so I let it slide.

Math 

It's the nerd in me but I love math.  I can't wait until Ainsley has math homework for me to help her with.

So there you have it.  A list that sums me up in quick 10 points.  I should have put lists on the list but I digress.  Enjoy getting a refresher on me.  I did.

Just What I Needed

The past week has been completely stressing me out.  Potty training is hard.  Last night I was in a funk.  I was super tired and emotionally at the end. 

We were getting ready for bed and I was letting the dogs out when I found this.

Don't see it...Let's zoom in.

Turn it around...

It was just the laugh that I needed. 

Good Enough

It's been one week since we started potty training and I'm wiped.  But I think the worst is behind us.

As I stated in the previous post, the first 3 days were great.  Then we had a bad day and a horrible day.  On Wednesday I had to go back to work.  I was petrified to leave my partially potty trained little girl with MaryBeth.  My only saving thought was that she did this a similar way with her little boy Robbie. 

So I dropped her off with 10 pair of panties, 2 changes of clothes, rewards, the potty stick, and a hug.  She did pretty well.  MaryBeth took her to the potty regularly instead of waiting for her to tell her.  It worked pretty well.  She was having success and that felt good to boost her confidence. She still pooped in her panties but that was the only accident.

Thursday was a different story.  She did well in the morning and then woke up from her nap covered in poop and pee.  MaryBeth was getting her up and ready for a tub and Ainsley hit her.  Seriously hit her.  What??? 

I was devastated.  I felt like my little happy girl was gone and in her place was this cranky sinful being.  I think it's one of the first times that I have been faced with her blatant sin.  I know I have more to come but it felt pretty devastating.  I cried quite a bit.

Friday is my day off so I decided to change the subject for her.  I was giving up waiting for her to tell me.  I gave up asking her every few minutes if she had to go or to ask her to tell me when she had to go.  I just took her to the potty every hour or so.  She's got a good bladder and was able to hold it and go every time I took her.  Still woke up with poop from nap and had one pee accident by the pool. But that was good enough for me.

She's been dry all day today and what that tells me is that she's essentially potty trained.  I think I had bought so hard into the other method that I was trying to force something on my child that just wasn't working for her.  I know that she will be able to tell me eventually.  And I know she will get the poops soon.  And she is only 22 months old.

What I needed was to offer her grace.  And a dose for myself as well.  My child isn't a prototype you find in a book.  She's a real person with real feelings and needed to be treated that way.  And since I figured that out and let the book go, she has been happier and so have I. 

Sometimes good enough is good enough.

May Good Things

Today I need a lift.  So I'm doing my Good Things post.  It's nice to look back and see that my life once didn't revolve around the potty.  It gives me hope that it won't again in the future.



1 Ran a race for the Tatas with Heather and Leah. Memories made

2 Enjoyed a potluck with small group. I just love our group and will miss our friends who are leaving us this summer

3 Ainsley's first day back with MaryBeth since she had Toby. It's good to be back with her.

4 Spent some good time with Ryan's Grandma after she was released from the hospital. These moments are precious

5 Enjoyed listening to Ainsley sing on the car ride home. Man she's cute

6 Enjoyed my new GPS. I loved arriving successfully to my destination with no turn arounds. That's a small miracle

7 Caught up with a really good friend from college. She's kind of famous in the blog world.  My new table arrived.

8 Organized my clothes. Got rid of 8 bags of unneccessary things. It feels good to purge

9 Enjoyed my Mama Day with Ainsley and was spoiled by Ryan. Went to my sister in laws college graduation. So proud

10 Thankful for a mother in law who loves my child and will take care of her on random days

11 Strolled through the garden to see everything coming up beautifully. The anticipation is killing me.

12 Got to check out where our new church is going to be. I love when other people have great visions. I'm not a visionary

13 Ryan got home from work early and that makes me smile.

14 Hopped to the park with some church friends for a long over due day at the park

15 Women's ministry breakfast with good friends and team. Excited to see what God does. Dinner with family

16 Spent some time with Ryan's mom and Blu at our house, showing off my wonderful new table

17 Confirmed the bunny lady for Ainsley's birthday party. Live bunnies at her party. How fun is that!!!

18 Roasted Red Pepper Pizza for dinner. Sticks And Stones restaurant doesn't have anything on me!

19 Thankful that Ryan is such a wonderful dad and that he loves her enough to let her puke on him!

20 All packed and ready to go to Boston.

21 Woke up to puke (not really good) but the coffee and book on the plane were a nice surprise since I was prepared for a 22 month lap child

22 Spent the day with my neices and nephews. Got a glimpse of what life as a soccer mom is. I'm kind of looking forward to it

23 Witnessed Anthony's first communion. That kid is amazing and cute to boot!

24 Went to Target for potty seats, cute elmo panties, and Clorox wipes. After a random poop in the potty on Sunday we have decided Friday is Potty Day

25 Biggest Loser Finale. Michael wins. I'm happy

26 Caught up on laundry in preparation for Potty Day. Little girl panties are cute

27 Celebrated my friend moving away. So enjoy her friendship and will miss her like crazy

28 Potty Day. Lots of messes but success as well

29 Potty Day 2. She's getting it

30 Potty Day 3. She's really getting it. Party at the pool with small group

31 Extra day off from work. Thanks to our great service men and women

Ready, Set, Go...

Ainsley was making good signs of readiness for potty training.  We went with it.  We have bought into a method called the 3 day potty training method.  I read it on another blog and had great hopes.  The idea is that you take the diapers off to never come back...even at night.  You ask them to tell you when they have to go potty making it child led.  So here's how it went.

In the words of Miss Ainsley herself..."Ready Set Go"...or most of the time from her  "Set, Go"

35 pair of panties ready to go.

Potty Day Party

Bye Bye Diapers

Drink a ton

Play and wait for accidents, don't forget to admire the cute panties.

End of the first day...The house looks like a bomb hit it

Day 2.  We are still happy

Day 3.  We have it.  Even with a trip to the pool.

Even at night.

Day 4.  The Potty Stick shows up to help with the poops.  It works once.

Day 5.  We are back to day 1.  What?????  No pictures because I'm tired.

But we are not giving up.  She is going to the nanny's house tomorrow.  I think she's sick of me and the potty training.  She's testing us.  But there is no turning back.  We are doing this!  And I can say this because right before she went to bed she told me she had to go potty and went.  Success!

To be continued....